Rock and Roll 1/2 Marathon RECAP

Yesterday was my first Half Marathon. If you recall, I decided one day to train for my first 5K before my 40th birthday. Running was NOT something I ever did. EVER. At the time, I had a 3 and 6 year old. I worked full time. I was just getting into the swing of things juggling those boys and my life. I never, ever thought that one day I would be running a 1/2 marathon.

Well, this year, I started running with Black Girls Run, my running group. These women were so much fun. They were encouraging. They pushed me to keep going further. I went from 1 mile to 3 miles. From 3 miles to 5 miles. One day, I ran 7. Then, they signed me up for my first ten mile race. I conquered the Broad Street Run. I started training with a crew of ladies who were training for their first half marathons. Team 13.1 is what we started calling ourselves after the number of miles in the race.

Every morning at 5am, we trained hard. Some mornings, we ran hills. Some mornings we did boot camp. Some mornings, we did speed intervals. Once a week, we ran a long run. We did this for about 12 weeks. Finally, two weeks ago, one of the ladies asked me if I was running the 1/2 marathon with them. To tell the truth, I was scared that I couldn’t do it. It just sounded so crazy. In my head….I DON’T RUN HALF MARATHONS.

Finally, I realized the deadline had passed for me to register without paying a gazillion dollars. One of the teammates, pulled out of the event due to injury and I ended up with her race bib. Suddenly, I felt like the universe was conspiring to propel me to run this race. I drank the Kool Aid and got ready.

Saturday night, my stomach was killing me. I was so anxious. I think I got four hours of sleep.

I woke up on Sunday morning and started getting ready. When I got there, I found my training crew. We were all anxious but we had run the distance once before. We hugged each other and encouraged each other.

PRE-RACE laughs with my training crew….

During the race, we talked and felt good. We passed miles and enjoyed the race waving to friends and family all the way. We saw an elderly gentleman running in a POW-MIA shirt while holding an American flag on a long flagpole. It brought tears to my eyes. Around mile 7, one of my co-workers who had been reclaiming his health ran up and hugged me. He was running his first race too. We high fived and joked that we would see each other on the finish line.

Our running team had cheerleaders at every mile marker. They were awesome. They had signs and cheered for us by name. They were so uplifting. I cruised into mile ten feeling good.

THE BEST PEP SQUAD EVER!

Right around mile 10-all smiles

At mile 11 1/2, my body started to hit the wall. My breathing was not labored thanks to all of my swimming and endurance training. For an asthmatic, I used to worry about gasping for air but I have great breath control now. However, my legs were starting to feel it. My body started talking to me.

My knees said “Look here. Didn’t we have a talk not too long ago? Didn’t I tell you to sit your old azz down and rest? Why do you have me out here doing this?”

All of a sudden, I looked over and saw one of our coaches. This woman. WHEW. She was not running today but she knew that on training runs, we had all started to struggle at the end. She positioned herself right at that mile 11.5 marker and what did she yell out to us? “There you guys are. I have been waiting specifically for you.” Then she ran into the street and started yelling (with love) MOVE IT LADIES, THIS IS THE HOMESTRETCH. YOU ARE 2 MILES AWAY. LET”S GO! She then started to run next to us and push us. I told her I had to go slow at this point cause my legs were shot. She told me to “stop making excuses and keep moving.” LOL…gotta love it.

She ran the remaining two miles in with us before turning back to go run in with more of our team. BGR had almost 60 runners in the race. Amazing. She helped run in most of us. What an angel.

CROSSING THE FINISH LINE WITH OUR COACH NEXT TO US (she is on the right with no race bib on)

What was great was that we stayed next to each other for the entire race. We all finished within seconds of each other. Here we are right after we all received our post race medals. Minutes after finishing.

POST RACE PHOTO

I really did it. It is now starting to sink in.

It was a great experience. On a personal note, I also got to compete and train for all these weeks with my sorority sisters. We love each other and pushed, coached and held each other up. We all purchased special shirts to commemorate our 13.1 miles. To find them in pink and green was perfect. We showed up to our post race brunch rocking our AKA pearls and our shirts.

TEAM AKA/TEAM 13.1

Yup, Thirteen point freaking one…your girl is a RUNNER.

Happy New Year

2011 was all in all a good year. Definitely a year of growth for me in many ways.

Financially, my family faced a few challenges this year. It was a year for us to really stick to a budget and we did a great job. I am ending the year with minimal debt and for that, I am truly blessed.

I was able to secure a slight promotion and continued to have the opportunity to work from home. This schedule has allowed me to spend more time with my family as well as fit in my continued health goals.

I started the year making a huge time and personal commitment by training for and completing my triathlon. I can honestly say that I managed to stick to a consistent workout regime for an entire year. I even ended the year with a 3 mile run this morning.

I learned how to swim. I rode a bike after not being on one for over 20 years. I completed my race. I learned that I am not a quitter and that I can do anything through hard work and determination. I learned that 42 is not too old to learn new things. I learned that the first step is believing.

My first nephew was born this year. I also made some great new friends and lost a few dear ones. My uncle and cousin-in-law are both currently battling cancer. Praying to have them both for another year of life.

I learned that Mama 1969 is human as I watched rheumatoid arthritis limit her mobility. I plan on spending even more quality time with her in 2012.

I enjoyed watching my brother grow into a fine Uncle and have never been prouder of the man he has become.

I truly enjoyed this year of watching my children grow. I loved seeing them work hard at school, sports and get brighter and more curious about life every single day. I thank God for them. They are the most wonderful gifts I have ever been given. They make me a better human being and give me a reason to wake up in the morning.

I also learned even more about my husband. I watched him face adversity and always maintain a positive outlook. I saw him rise above setbacks and remain the head of this household. Watching him continue to be a wonderful husband and father is one of the greatest joys of my life. I am so thankful for him.

I am thankful for all of you guys for sharing the daily shenanigans that go on in my little corner of the world. Sometimes we agreed to disagree and that’s okay. I’m just happy you continue to stop in and check on me from time to time. I wish all of you a healthy and prosperous 2012 and hope you find love, peace and a lot of joy in the coming year.

As for me and my family? Big things are in store for us in 2012. I can’t wait.

Happy New Year to you and yours!

Love,

Sixty

My Secret Santa Loves Me!

This was my first year participating in the Blogland Secret Santa hosted by PSerendipity. Today I received my box o’ goodies.

Can I just say that I love my gifts? Exactly what I wanted!

I got the next two Hunger Games books (I read the first one and was seriously about to buy the other two at Target tomorrow!) I also got a beautiful cookbook called “Southern Plate”. You know I love cookbooks. I have been reading it for the last hour. What? You don’t read cookbooks?

I also got these which I knew were for the Tali’s (so thoughtful) but I didn’t know what they were.

They ripped the two boxes open but I had to make them stop until I googled them to make sure nothing was going to explode or “put an eye out”. Don’t laugh, you know I’m a geek. After we deemed they were completely safe, I let them have at it.

A certain someone decided the best part of the package was the bubble wrap.

Ah, the simple joys of life!

Thank you so much to my Secret Santa, PSerendipity! You can shop for me anytime. Wishing you and your family all the best for a wonderful holiday.

Wonder Woman Reflections

It’s no secret that my life is hectic. I work full time, raise two sons, go to soccer and swim practice, manage a household, try to be a good wife, stay active in my community through my sorority and finally, decided to throw in a triathalon cause, you know, I had an extra hour of free time.

So many of my friends are always asking me how I do it. I was thinking about this the other day. My main answer would be “I have a great husband who supports me in all I do and helps me with everything”.

What I do is what all mothers do. Seriously. My life is no different than any other mom. I multitask and stuff gets done because it HAS to. I am blessed to have help. Mr. 1969 does housework and laundry. He helps get his boys ready for school in the morning. He helps to drop them off and will take them out to play when I need a mental break. He’s a supportive daddy.

So many women do what I do alone. So many women do what I do with a non-supportive partner. I feel blessed but I make no bones about having support physically and emotionally. He helps me be great.

The real wonder women are out there doing it alone. Motherhood is a thankless job. Sure you get a card once a year but what about all the other days? What about all of the sacrifices and hard work that is expected of you or you fall into the bad mommy club? Moms have to act like this job is the greatest all the time or we will get the side eye from everyone….other mothers, men, single women, old folks, etc. We get judged harder than anyone else and we are often our own toughest critics.

As I reflect on my crazy, hectic life…I realize, yes, I do alot. However, I don’t deserve any kudos for it. I just do what I do. Look around, there are better folks doing exactly what I do with so much less help. Those are the real unsung heroines. It may not be mother’s day yet, but kudos to all the real Wonder Women out there!

When doubts creep in, drop kick them.

Triathalon update:

I was able to secure a great swim coach however, I can only meet her in a 7pm timeslot Monday through Friday.  I am one of those people that works out early in the am. If I am not done working out before 4pm, it usually won’t get done.  I like to be settled in my house once my boys are home and enjoy family time. I like to help with homework, make dinner and relax. I love my couch and I love useless tv at night. I can’t lie.

Now with this new coach, she is practically free (most coaches cost over $200 for lessons) and I get to work with her one on one for a straight hour (most lessons are 45 minutes). Again, the main drawback is that my time slot is at 7pm at night. I don’t get back home until around 8:30pm.  It’s still cold and dark. I’m leaving there wet and tired. Can you see how I may not always be motivated?

All day yesterday, I b*tched about having to go. I worked from home in the afternoon and whined to Mr. 1969 every fifteen minutes. I think I was hoping he would say “don’t go” so I would feel better and stay home.

Instead, my awesome husband told me he would go with me and swim with the boys while I practiced.  Instantly, I felt better. Despite having a friend doing the tri with me here in Philly, we live in different neighborhoods. She belongs to her gym and I belong to mine. She takes swim lessons at her gym and I go to my person. We try to take a spin class together every Saturday morning so we have at least one day of training together but training for this race is pretty much a solitary effort. I have to motivate myself. I would definitely recommend that anyone interested in doing one of these, signs up with a team. It is easier to get up and go when you have a team holding you accountable.

Most days, I stay motivated but I do have my moments when I am just tired. Thank God for Mr. 1969, my boys and all of my Facebook friends that sent me words of encouragement yesterday. As soon as I got in the water, I felt great. She also corrected so many mechanical issues I was having with my stroke and my breathing. By the end of the lesson, I had mastered breathing on every stroke and the breaststroke. All in an hour. Imagine what I will be able to do if I go on a regular basis, come race time.

(me, swimming in the lane…Coach D watching over me)

Training for this race is one of the most physically demanding things I have ever done. My body is always sore but I keep pushing myself. I know that this race is mental. I refuse to fall for the doubts in my mind. I can do this and I am so thankful for the support and inspiration that comes from the most unexpected sources.

I know that God is pushing me to do this race and I believe that I will finish. I can do this!

Eye of the Tiger

I signed myself up to do a Triathalon. Yes, the woman who couldn’t even run two blocks when I started this blog is pushing to do three sports in one. Who woulda thunk it?

There are different levels of triathalons and I am signing up for the easiest one. It’s called a Sprint. 1/2 mile swim, 15 mile bike ride and 3 mile run. To say I am overwhelmed at the thought of this undertaking is an understatement. I am pretty terrified. However, I do know that it is mind over matter and all about the preparation. I am determined to do this and the race is not until June 26th so I have lots of time to prepare.

What has been interesting to me is the reaction from people I love. Mr. 1969 was so supportive. I asked him if he thought I could do it back when I was first approached about the idea by my girlfriend. He looked me dead in the eye and said “Absolutely”.  My brother was the same way…”You can do it. I believe in you.”

Of course, I also heard from some of my other friends, my mama, my cousins, my co-workers. “Why would you want to do that?” “You’re gonna get big like a dude.” “You’re crazy. You’ll never finish.” “You are gonna come out of the Schuylkill River with three extra eyes.” Okay, that last one is probably true. LOL

I have always been the type to allow negativity to motivate me. So I laughed off all of their comments and kept it moving. I know my friends don’t really mean me any harm and I know they love me and want the best for me.

I can’t lie though. Hearing negative comments did put a small chink in my tough girl armor. As I thought about the comments, I wondered why we always feel the need to bring somebody down when they are attempting to do something positive? I know I am probably guilty of doing this myself. I admit, I have the hater gene in my DNA and it does surface more than I’d care to admit. I am sure I have made snide comments to many folks in the past not meaning them any ill will. Just being my highly opinionated self. Why though?

As I get older, I continue to come face to face with the ugly error of my ways. The lessons I need to learn become so much more apparent when they happen to me. I think that’s part of growing up.

For the record, when someone signs up for something like this race,  it’s a major endeavor. The physical preparation is tough but the mental test is even more formidable. They are already thinking all of those negative thoughts in their head…they don’t need you to voice it to them. If you can’t support the endeavor just say “WOW. Good for you.” and change the subject. For real, it’s like seeing someone with a not so attractive child. Why would you steal the mama’s joy by mentioning her child’s looks? You wouldn’t. You have home training.

So why would you make fun of someone else’s goal or dream?

For those of you who have had other people laugh or try to talk you down from a goal…do what I do. Laugh with them and go home and work harder.  Use those comments as motivation. I typed them all out and stuck them on my office and my refrigerator. Come June 26th, I will have accomplished a huge personal goal and those folks will have helped me to get there. I’m with Nike….. Just Do It.

How many of us have them?

Yesterday, I managed to squeeze in lunch with one of my really good girlfriends. Through the course of lunch, we caught up on each other’s lives. It turns out she is in the midst of going through a divorce and laid some heavy stuff on me.

One of the side effects of marriage and motherhood is that you don’t get to sit down and have in-depth conversations with your friends as often as you used to, especially when they live in another state. As she talked to me and filled me in on what had been going on in her life, I could feel the tears forming.

We both had husbands and children. We both had full time careers and obligations. We have been building, working, caretaking for the last few years. We would send occassional hellos but we lost touch. To sit across from her and hear all the stuff she had been going through for the last few years, my heart hurt. I felt like I had left her alone in her new city and forgotten to be there for her. I lost touch with her when she needed a friend the most.

We had a great talk, offered support, encouragement and love. I apologized for not being there. She apologized for not reaching out to say she needed a friend. We parted ways with a renewed sense of friendship and strength.

As soon as she left me, I called my best friend. I had to share how I felt and being the best friend that she is, she knew exactly how I felt. She encouraged me and we both resolved that as girlfriends, we have to remember to take time out of our lives to touch base with each other. We need to make time for ourselves and each other to uplift and support the people we love and care about.

As I lay in bed last night, the weight of my friend’s issues weighed heavily on my mind. I am going to make time to call her once a month and check in. I promise to do better at calling my girls to check on them. As mothers and wives, we need the support more than ever. You never grow out of your need for your girls. Never.

My Girls

Last night, I headed out to see SATC2 with my dear friend Tracy. Without giving anything away, I have to say that the movie was mediocre and far too “over the top”. However, my favorite scene revolved around two of the characters sitting around and having a heart to heart talk about the trials and tribulations of motherhood.

Tracy and I were pregnant with both of our children at the same time and she is the very first friend I made whan I moved here to Philly. I can’t tell you how many phone calls we have had talking about the very same thing. “This baby won’t go to sleep.” “It’s 6pm and I am finally eating something.” “I am exhausted and all I can do is cry.” “I’ve been wearing the same sweats for the past three days.” “Why didn’t anybody tell us it was so hard?”

Thank God I had Tracy to bounce all of my new mother stress off of. We grew up together those first few years of motherhood. I remember one day I walked out of the house after telling Mr. 1969 that I was running errands and drove to Tracy’s house and sat in her kitchen crying out all of my new mother frustrations before washing my face, putting on my cape and heading back home to be Wonder Woman. She is definitely one of those friends I can lay down my tough girl persona with and just be myself.

No matter what, mothers aren’t supposed to talk about motherhood being difficult. We are supposed to all take to breastfeeding. We should love staying up all night rocking crying infants. We all should want to quit our jobs to stay home. We should want to eat, breathe and sleep our kids. Breaks? Real mothers don’t ever need breaks. Anything less than perfection makes us feel like we are failures and society will be quick to call 1-800-bad-mommy. The toughest critics? Other moms. We judge each other so harshly. Even worse? We judge ourselves.

The best part about Tracy and I? We supported each other. We picked each other up. We made mistakes and then laughed at them. We were a support system for each other. That’s what real girlfriends do for each other. We don’t judge or point out flaws. We also reminded each other that we were new to this, we were learning the ropes and that we would be okay.

As we sat and watched that scene in the movie, my girl Tracy grabbed my hand and said “Have we been there or what?” and I squeezed her hand and told her that I loved her to pieces for always talking me down off the ledge. There’s nothing like motherhood but it’s even better to go through it with good girlfriends by your side. Thanks to all of my girls that helped me make it so far.

The Randomness

I ran out at lunchtime to do a little shopping. My trip is coming up and I had to find a few dresses to wear.  I found two dresses but what I am totally excited about is that I picked up this pair of shoes and they are indeed the HOTNESS. Did I mention I picked them up on sale for $25 bucks???

Ben Rothlisberger better get suspended. If Plaxico Burress got jail time for carrying a loaded weapon and then shooting himself in the leg. I’m gonna need Big Ben to at least ride the bench for his 2nd complaint regarding being drunk and allegedly assaulting a young woman. Let’s see what the NFL commissioner decides.

I love Michelle Obama. I really do. Her outfits this week in Mexico City have been fabulous.

My Grandmother fell coming out of the shower and had to get 9 stitches in her head. *sigh*

I watched the first episode of Basketball Wives. I need that 30 minutes of my life back. Not one of those chicks is an actual wife. We have ex-wives, ex-fiancees, ex-baby mamas and one currently engaged chick. All these women did was sit around and talk about how hard their lives are and how they can’t associate with one of them because she is too hoochie-ish. *smh* Uh hello, you are all young ladies plucked out of obscurity from the hood…now driving Range Rovers, buying $3,000 outfits and crying on tv about how much you have to put up with being in the limelight. GET REAL….Hell, GET A JOB!

“I’m on a boat!”

You want workout motivation? Go Bathing suit shopping days before a trip where you will be seen by co-workers.

Pollen sucks.

Fresh, whatever happened to OSAG? *cough*

You ever have to work on a committee with someone who is “EXTRA”? Praying for the event to be over.

Why is this lady on Martha Stewart trying to explain what a Jolly Rancher is to Martha? Who doesn’t know what a Jolly Rancher is? Martha knows all 187 varieties of tomatoes but never had a green apple? C’mon son.

Where is Amadeo? *crickets*

Did I mention that my newly turned 8 year old son has three hairs under his armpit. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS.

How many of us have them?

This past weekend was my undergraduate chapter anniversary. It was a mini reunion of old friends past and present. On my ride home, I sat back and reflected on a few things. Mainly the nature of friendship.

My best friend still lives in Brooklyn. I talk about her all the time and having grown up around nothing but boys, you already know she is near and dear to me. She is truly the sister I never had. We have been friends since we were 13 years old and we have never looked back since meeting in Health class.

As we have gotten older, work and our families (we both have two children) have definitely become the focal point of our lives. We don’t talk on the phone as much as we used to. We don’t get to hang out like we did back in the day. However, when you and someone are truly friends, seeing them is like slipping right back into a natural routine. Somehow, we instantly pick up where we left off no matter how long we’ve been apart. There’s never any tension and definitely no drama.

On the flip side, I am sure we all have those types of friends and family in our lives where everything is about them and what they’re feeling. “Where have you been?” “How come you never call me?” “How come you hung out with so and so and nobody told me?”  Meanwhile, they NEVER call you either. *sigh*

Being reunited with some of my old friends was truly great but there is always that one individual that makes you gnash teeth. Sure enough, as soon as she saw me, she unleashed and started talking. I swear for three hours, all I heard about was her life, her husband, her kids and her drama. No offense, but my life is stressful enough. You can tuck your personal baggage right back into your Birkin and keep it moving.

When I walk away from people like this, I do a little self reflection. I hope people will keep it real with me and tell me when  I am so self absorbed that I never stop to ask “How are YOU doing?” Being a real friend goes both ways. Sure, people that love you can put up with hearing all of your issues. They can listen with patience and offer advice because they know you. However, are you ever there for them if they need you? Do you ever call just to see how they’re feeling or are you always unloading on someone without ever thinking about your actions?

I know I want to be a better friend for the people I love. How about you?