Rock and Roll 1/2 Marathon RECAP

Yesterday was my first Half Marathon. If you recall, I decided one day to train for my first 5K before my 40th birthday. Running was NOT something I ever did. EVER. At the time, I had a 3 and 6 year old. I worked full time. I was just getting into the swing of things juggling those boys and my life. I never, ever thought that one day I would be running a 1/2 marathon.

Well, this year, I started running with Black Girls Run, my running group. These women were so much fun. They were encouraging. They pushed me to keep going further. I went from 1 mile to 3 miles. From 3 miles to 5 miles. One day, I ran 7. Then, they signed me up for my first ten mile race. I conquered the Broad Street Run. I started training with a crew of ladies who were training for their first half marathons. Team 13.1 is what we started calling ourselves after the number of miles in the race.

Every morning at 5am, we trained hard. Some mornings, we ran hills. Some mornings we did boot camp. Some mornings, we did speed intervals. Once a week, we ran a long run. We did this for about 12 weeks. Finally, two weeks ago, one of the ladies asked me if I was running the 1/2 marathon with them. To tell the truth, I was scared that I couldn’t do it. It just sounded so crazy. In my head….I DON’T RUN HALF MARATHONS.

Finally, I realized the deadline had passed for me to register without paying a gazillion dollars. One of the teammates, pulled out of the event due to injury and I ended up with her race bib. Suddenly, I felt like the universe was conspiring to propel me to run this race. I drank the Kool Aid and got ready.

Saturday night, my stomach was killing me. I was so anxious. I think I got four hours of sleep.

I woke up on Sunday morning and started getting ready. When I got there, I found my training crew. We were all anxious but we had run the distance once before. We hugged each other and encouraged each other.

PRE-RACE laughs with my training crew….

During the race, we talked and felt good. We passed miles and enjoyed the race waving to friends and family all the way. We saw an elderly gentleman running in a POW-MIA shirt while holding an American flag on a long flagpole. It brought tears to my eyes. Around mile 7, one of my co-workers who had been reclaiming his health ran up and hugged me. He was running his first race too. We high fived and joked that we would see each other on the finish line.

Our running team had cheerleaders at every mile marker. They were awesome. They had signs and cheered for us by name. They were so uplifting. I cruised into mile ten feeling good.

THE BEST PEP SQUAD EVER!

Right around mile 10-all smiles

At mile 11 1/2, my body started to hit the wall. My breathing was not labored thanks to all of my swimming and endurance training. For an asthmatic, I used to worry about gasping for air but I have great breath control now. However, my legs were starting to feel it. My body started talking to me.

My knees said “Look here. Didn’t we have a talk not too long ago? Didn’t I tell you to sit your old azz down and rest? Why do you have me out here doing this?”

All of a sudden, I looked over and saw one of our coaches. This woman. WHEW. She was not running today but she knew that on training runs, we had all started to struggle at the end. She positioned herself right at that mile 11.5 marker and what did she yell out to us? “There you guys are. I have been waiting specifically for you.” Then she ran into the street and started yelling (with love) MOVE IT LADIES, THIS IS THE HOMESTRETCH. YOU ARE 2 MILES AWAY. LET”S GO! She then started to run next to us and push us. I told her I had to go slow at this point cause my legs were shot. She told me to “stop making excuses and keep moving.” LOL…gotta love it.

She ran the remaining two miles in with us before turning back to go run in with more of our team. BGR had almost 60 runners in the race. Amazing. She helped run in most of us. What an angel.

CROSSING THE FINISH LINE WITH OUR COACH NEXT TO US (she is on the right with no race bib on)

What was great was that we stayed next to each other for the entire race. We all finished within seconds of each other. Here we are right after we all received our post race medals. Minutes after finishing.

POST RACE PHOTO

I really did it. It is now starting to sink in.

It was a great experience. On a personal note, I also got to compete and train for all these weeks with my sorority sisters. We love each other and pushed, coached and held each other up. We all purchased special shirts to commemorate our 13.1 miles. To find them in pink and green was perfect. We showed up to our post race brunch rocking our AKA pearls and our shirts.

TEAM AKA/TEAM 13.1

Yup, Thirteen point freaking one…your girl is a RUNNER.

Cause We Like To Party

This weekend, Mr. 1969 and I attended the 50th wedding anniversary of his cousins up in Harrisburg, PA. I knew it was going to be a memorable trip when we drove by a jeep with a 6ft dead black bear strapped to the roof. Now I have seen deer strapped to a car but a bear???? Who does this?

Poor Yogi!

When we arrived at the reception, we noticed our table had a name  “I Feel Good”. As we looked around, it appeared that every table was named after a song. We didn’t think much of it until after our meal when they announced that they they going to play each song and the table had to get up and dance. At the end of every table dancing, the happy couple would select the best table for a prize.

For anyone that knows me….winning makes me happier than Ch.ar.lie Sh.een. I am competitive by nature and if I have to make a fool of myself, then I need to win a prize for doing so!

In ten seconds, I had an idea and the whole table was set with their marching uh, dancing orders. We watched all of the tables get up and it was so much fun. Our biggest competition was table 7 who danced to “Midnight Train To Georgia”. They had their Pips moves down!

When our turn came up, the strains of James Brown filled the air. The ladies at our table were in backup dancer mode and I was out of site. The star of this dance? Our secret weapon, Mr. 1969 who has been practicing to be James Brown all of his natural born life. He LOVES James Brown. Well, he put on a James Brown show for those folks. He did spins, the side step moves and had the crowd on their feet. They weren’t ready for our showstopper though. He broke down and got on his knees and out I came with a floor length coat and covered his shoulders. The crowd went wild. If that wasn’t enough, he jumped back up, knocked the coat on the ground and started dancing again and ended with a half split.  Not only did we win, we were the highlight of the party. Everyone is still calling us and laughing.

It turned out to be a great party despite the poor bear (my heart is still broken). What a celebration to have family and friends join you as you celebrate 50 years of love. If that doesn’t make you feel good….I don’t know what will.

Each One Teach One

This week at work is Customer Appreciation week. There have been a series of events taking place for our customers. Several breakfasts, luncheons, receptions…a whirlwind of activity.

The industry I am in is a tough one because you find yourself always having to be “ON”. My face hurts from smiling so much. The best part about this week is what happens today.

This afternoon, we are volunteering at one of my favorite places….PHILABUNDANCE. Philabundance serves the greater Philadelphia community and in simple terms, helps to feed people.

We will pack up boxes full of canned foods, pasta, rice, etc as they prepare for their busiest demand time of year, the Holidays. My mother, always stressed the importance of helping others. Even if we didn’t have much, we always had enough to share with someone that needed our help.

I have fond memories of my mother cooking dinners for neighbors and friends. In my adult life, community service is a huge part of my life. Through my husband’s fraternity and my sorority, we participate in some form of community service almost monthly. We have done blood drives, delivered messages to mothers in jail from their children, served hot food in soup kitchens and helped to clothe battered women and children. These are causes that touch our family and we never want our children to grow up without knowing how much of a blessing each day and every hot meal are.

As parents, we want to instill values that our children will have for a lifetime. It’s great to have a nice home, cars and clothing but when you look around and so many people are struggling just to make ends meet, it’s our obligation to help others in some way. It’s easy to write a check but the feeling you get from physically doing a good deed and seeing how your direct actions help the individual are immeasurable.

What a great ending to a crazy week.

The Point of it All….

When people ask me how it is that I haven’t killed and dumped the body have stayed married for so long, I always feel like they are looking at Mr. 1969 and I through rose colored glasses. I will tell anyone that marriage is far from easy. Living with one person, forever, is like being in jail with a roommate. You either need to figure out how to make your peace with the situation fast or you will both need to sleep with one eye open at all times.

We have many differences. He is neat. I am *cough*comfortable cleaning things on my own schedule *cough*. He is hyper and cannot sit still for one minute. I relish nothing more than peace and quiet, a good tv show, fuzzy pajamas and my couch. He loves to visit every single family member, even ones that are like 3rd cousins once removed. I like my immediate family, my cousins around the Holidays and uh, yeah….that’s it. He is nice, always happy and uber friendly. He always looks at the positive side of every situation. I can be evil.

They say opposites attract, and they do. However, you may not want to live with your opposite for life. Having this relationship takes work. I have to pause and stop myself from saying the first evil thing that springs to mind. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail miserably. I have to try and not be so selfish at times. I have to stop being upset about the things he does wrong and try to focus on what he does right.

It requires maturity. There, I said it. Healthy, adult relationships require maturity. Not just from one party…from both people involved. I fully believe that as long as both parties are committed to having a healthy relationship, things can work. The minute one side starts to waiver, you need to start working on fixing the problems. Issues fester when not addressed and you cannot always address things by arguing.

Too many folks are in love with the “idea” of getting married. You need to spend time getting to know someone. Be honest with yourself. Are you both good at working through problems together? When bad times hit, do you see yourself sticking with this person? There are always huge signs when you’re dating. Don’t ignore the signs.

A woman that always looks good, tight outfits, nice shoes and bags will want to keep living her life the same way when she is married. There will be shopping!  As a man, you need to recognize and understand that. She won’t magically stop shopping now that she is your wife. The key is, will she also learn to curb some of her spending to invest in your future together. Will she put your needs above hers?

A man that likes to hang out with his boys will still want to do so after he is married. You met him that way, it will not go away. The key is, is he willing to cancel those plans with the boys if there is something you want to do with him? Does he put your needs first? If he won’t do that now, what makes you think he will do it when he’s married?

I think people rush into relationships out of fear, lonliness and peer pressure. There is nothing wrong with moving slow, dating and understanding what your needs are before you can expect anyone else to understand them. Self love leads to true love.

Date responsibly my friends!

 

 

Swagger is his middle name

Some people have “it” and some people don’t. Tali 2 has “it”. That boy was born with confidence flowing through his veins.

Last week, he came home with a folder full of his monthly tests. Seven tests, all 100′s.

1969: What a great job! I am soooo proud of you.

Tali 2: Who wouldn’t be proud of me mom?

*blank stare*

That led to the following events.  On Wednesday, he had a book fair. He asked us for money for a book. We gave him $5 and he came home with two Philly pretzels. No book.

On Thursday, he asked for $1.00 for his school canteen (store) for a treat. We gave him a dollar and he came home with two bookmarks. No snacks.

On Friday, he asked me for 50 cents for the school canteen again.

1969: Tali 2, this is the 3rd time this week you have asked me for money. Everytime I give you money for school, you don’t bring home what you said you needed it for. You get lunch at school so I am not giving you money every single day. If you are going to need money for school every day, you need to get a job.

Tali 2: I have a job!

1969: What is your job?

Tali 2: TO LEARN…..and I do a really good job at it. So, you should pay me.

1969: *hands over 50 cents and walks away*

Clearly, it’s his world and we are just getting in the way of greatness.

Hot Topic

Today I have a topic. (Remember back when I used to actually blog about topics?)

What happens when someone you love is sabotaging you? Or, when friends won’t let friends be great!

Let’s pause and think about that for a minute.

Have you ever had a goal and the minute you announced it to your family and friends, they seemed to try and thwart that goal at every single turn? Case in point, a dear friend recently moved to my neighborhood and she has expressed interest in getting her workout regime back on track.

She has since joined my gym and we have been working out together. Lately, whenever it is time for us to go to the gym, her spouse finds something pressing that he has to do at the exact same time (uh dude, do you really have to mow your lawn right when we are leaving at 7am on a Sunday), leaving her unable to go because she has a toddler. Sabotage.

You let your friend know you are on a diet and you go out to dinner and they order that big plate of lasagna, extra fries and the triple chocolate mud pie while saying “I’m not on a diet! You know you want some of this!” Sabotage.

You get a promotion and you start getting the cold shoulder and no support from your former work friends who used to make your cube their daily hang out spot. Sabotage.

And my favorite….you announce a new endeavor or goal and the instant reaction? “Why do you want to do that?” Sabotage.

Why do we do this? I know I have done this to someone in my own life. Our initial reaction with some people is to doubt them, throw salt on their game and be negative. Trust me, as I get older, I really notice it. I am trying to make a conscious effort to be more positive in my dealings with people.

Now I know, we all have family and friends that are total screw ups. They always have a new scheme that never gets off the ground. However, do we react like this to people we love? Are we stomping on someone’s dream?

When you become a parent, it’s even more important to uplift your children and show them that you believe in them, that you support their hopes and ideas.  I notice myself doing this for my kids like it’s second nature. Why do I struggle with doing this with adults?

Maybe if we support some of our friends and family and offer to help them with their goals or just encourage them with a simple “That’s great! I can definitely see you doing that!” we could push them in the right direction?

I love when people believe in me and support my goals. It makes me feel invincible and like I can really accomplish anything. I’m sure someone else would love it just as much.

In the Home Stretch (a month to go)

I know you are all tired of hearing about this Triathalon and I apologize for not having witty entertaining stories to share right now. Truth be told, I am tired of it  too.

I am knee deep in training and juggling work, a household and the family. In order to do this, I have been working out pretty much at around 6am most mornings. 6am runs, 6am swims, 6am bike rides. On one hand, I am proud of myself for sticking to it. No one likes to sleep more than I do and yet, when that alarm goes off at 5:15am, I drag myself out of bed and do what needs to be done.

Most days, I come home, shower, eat, get the boys ready and then roll out to work. Most days, I feel like some kind of superhero. I am amazed at how good I am at squeezing in the time to do this.

Then, there are days like today. I ran at 6am yesterday. It was raining and cold. I could tell I wasn’t my usual cheerful self. Last night, I couldn’t fall asleep and I stayed up til midnight knowing I had to meet my training buddies to ride at 6am this morning. 

When the alarm went off this morning, I was so physically tired. I had to pray then get up. I only kept going because I knew others were waiting for me. The ride this morning incorporated a whole bunch of hills. It was tough.  My whole body hurts. I came home and felt so overwhelmed. I felt defeated.

I know I am just having a bad day and I will feel better when I wake up in the morning. Nevertheless, today….I am going to allow myself to wallow in a little self pity. Your girl is tired. I’m sore. I am tired of the constant training and pushing my body to the extreme. Maybe I just need a good cry and a glass of wine? LOL

No time for crying, it’s Saturday and I promised to take my boys out to play tennis. Iguess venting to you all will have to serve as my release. Thanks for listening. Thanks for the support. Just thanks.

Tri update

How is training going? Glad you asked! With about 6 weeks to go, it’s going as well as can be expected.

SWIMMING

I have been swimming twice a week. No more trainer, I learned all of my stroking techniques and now I am working on building up my endurance for the 1/2 mile. I think *gasp* I will be in decent shape for the race. The key is to learn different strokes so when you are swimming and you get tired of freestyle, you can switch to another stroke with ease and keep moving. The key is to never stop swimming. I was extremely anxious and I still am. I think it will be the toughest part of the race but I will feel so good when I complete it. Last week, I swam with my friend The Good Dr, who is training with me. We hadn’t done any swimming together since the very beginning when we first started. Back then, I would swim 1/2 the length of the pool and stop. We swam 20 laps last weekend and she was amazed at my progress. Now, I am still no Michael Phelps but I am sure I won’t be the worst swimmer out there.

BIKING

I was doing spin class and biking on a stationary bike for much of the winter. I have started the outside riding now. 15 miles should take me about 45 minutes or less. Trust me, when I first got on a bike, it was not a pretty sight. I haven’t been on a bike since I was about 12. When the bike would pick up speed, I would get panicked like I was going to crash. Riding in traffic gives me heart palpitations. However, on open road, I am straight. I actually enjoy the bike. Now, running after biking? *cough* That’s another story.

RUNNING

While I have never run more than 5 miles. Last week, I ran two 5Ks. I ran one on Friday morning up Kelly Drive. I ran on Sunday in the Susan Komen Race for the Cure. I am not worried about the run portion. I am confident I can run a 5K and if I get super exhausted, I can walk. My goal is to not have to walk at the end. I seriously want to complete it but as long as I cross that finish line, that’s all that matters.

On a positive note, I have lost 12 pounds (which is exactly what I needed to lose) and I am down a complete dress size. I feel strong. I feel like I can do or try anything. I know that I am open to new challenges and that’s so important to me as I get older. At the 5K on Sunday, my boys were at the finish line with a sign that said “Go Mommy Go”. That’s exactly what I intend to keep doing.

It’s Friday Bytches!

Guess who got up at 6am and ran through the streets of Philly like I was a broke version of Rocky? Yup your girl!

So I am on a runner’s high, fueled by a grande starbucks coffee and my new running theme music. If you don’t own this remix….you ain’t living!

Happy Friday…..

Wonder Woman Reflections

It’s no secret that my life is hectic. I work full time, raise two sons, go to soccer and swim practice, manage a household, try to be a good wife, stay active in my community through my sorority and finally, decided to throw in a triathalon cause, you know, I had an extra hour of free time.

So many of my friends are always asking me how I do it. I was thinking about this the other day. My main answer would be “I have a great husband who supports me in all I do and helps me with everything”.

What I do is what all mothers do. Seriously. My life is no different than any other mom. I multitask and stuff gets done because it HAS to. I am blessed to have help. Mr. 1969 does housework and laundry. He helps get his boys ready for school in the morning. He helps to drop them off and will take them out to play when I need a mental break. He’s a supportive daddy.

So many women do what I do alone. So many women do what I do with a non-supportive partner. I feel blessed but I make no bones about having support physically and emotionally. He helps me be great.

The real wonder women are out there doing it alone. Motherhood is a thankless job. Sure you get a card once a year but what about all the other days? What about all of the sacrifices and hard work that is expected of you or you fall into the bad mommy club? Moms have to act like this job is the greatest all the time or we will get the side eye from everyone….other mothers, men, single women, old folks, etc. We get judged harder than anyone else and we are often our own toughest critics.

As I reflect on my crazy, hectic life…I realize, yes, I do alot. However, I don’t deserve any kudos for it. I just do what I do. Look around, there are better folks doing exactly what I do with so much less help. Those are the real unsung heroines. It may not be mother’s day yet, but kudos to all the real Wonder Women out there!