With all this working out, I have made lots of new friends. Especially the ladies of Black Girls Run. I love meeting up with these ladies because they range in age, shapes and sizes. Some RUN, some jog, some wog (walk/jog) and some walk. No matter what, everyone is out of the house and off the couch.
While working out with them one brisk Saturday morning, one of the ladies shared that she recently asked her husband for new workout clothes. He told her she should wait for a few months to see if she was really going to stick with it and then he would get her some new stuff. I took a deep breath. Why? Because I don’t know that woman from Adam. I also don’t know anything about their financial situation. I also don’t know her husband. If she were one of my “girls” I would have driven her to the store and bought her an entire shopping bag full of workout gear. Instead, the ladies that were jogging offered up loads of positive advice about how once he saw how good she started looking after working out, he would rush to the store and buy her stuff. Blah, blah, blah.
In my 42 years on earth, I have learned how to spot a Goal Snatcher when I see one. Maybe the thought of his wife working out made him feel insecure about his lazy behind? Goal Snatchers throw salt on your dreams because people changing their lives make their own lives seem stagnant or insignificant. To quote the sage philosopher, Kanye “I know you rather see me die than to see me fly.”
When I encounter someone like this, I usually do my best to accept that they are insecure about something and keep it moving. I can’t change everyone, I can only do me. However, If you have someone in your life that always has something negative to say when you throw out a goal…I hope you don’t allow them to stop you from moving your dream forward. Change comes from you. It’s nice to have support from your friends and family but sometimes, they aren’t in that place and you can’t force them to be there.
When you are passionate about something, that fire builds in your heart. Protect it and encourage it. From working out to starting your own business… Success will not come to you if you are always waiting for approval or acceptance. Don’t let the naysayers stop you from moving your dreams forward. Instead, find joy in proving them wrong.
Instead, find joy in proving them wrong.
THIS RIGHT HERE!!!!
I’ve had to let go of some folks because of this and I am ok with it. Everything happens for a reason and their time has expired.. I truly hope that the women you mentioned doesn’t get discouraged because she doesn’t have her husband’s total support.
Here’s to an awesome 2012!!!
I came home and told my husband what she said and he said “WOW….that’s bad.” You would think you would encourage your partner to want to be healthier?
The best way to deal is to prove them wrong. Always. Show them it can be done!
Cheers to 2012!
Words…all of them! One of my favorite “Goal Snatcher” comments is when a person tells you that they would NEVER do for some nefarious reason all the while giving you the “you are crazier than a bedbug” look for doing what they would NEVER do. My response…good for you, now watch my smoke & eat my dust.
Holla! Oh, and I swam 1200 meters this morning. Remember when I couldn’t swim 25? LOL
Goal snatchers, dream killers, all have the same thing in mind…..kill your goals and dreams so they don’t have to face up to their own short comings. Grrrrrrrr…She should just keep working out and get her some new workout gear. I am married and understand consulting your spouse but we each have a “fun fund” to do what we want to with and I would use mine to buy some workout gear.
I’m still stuck on having to ask for new workout clothes. Sign… Thank God for the personal account plus joint account logic in my marriage. I hope she shows him up!!
This is where I got stuck too. Hopefully, she’ll be able to do her thing and show him that she’s serious.
I’m also part of Black Girls Run! and meeting up with these women is something I look forward to every week.
I saw his response differently. I dont know either of them. But when I read what he said, the first thing that came to my mind was that maybe she was the type of person who started things but never stuck with them.
“He told her she should wait for a few months to see if she was really going to stick with it and then he would get her some new stuff.”
So his wanting to wait was him wanting to be sure that she would indeed stick with it before spending money on something that she would soon quit. Perhaps the goal of purchasing new clothes, even workout gear, would be an incentive for her to stick with it.
I thought this as well. He should encourage her though. She could buy one thing now (like shoes which are super critical) and more less critical things once she’s shown she can stick with it.
But I also agree with someone above that its worrying that she even had to ask. Does she go through him for all of her purchases? But then again maybe they are under a tight budget or saving for a big purchase. Who knows…
This is what I thought too. I mean hey…he knows her better than anyone hopefully so maybe that was his way of keeping expectations down. I’m guilty of starting something and not finishing it because I got bored with it and my husband knows this well. If I told him I was going to train to run a marathon he’d side eye the hell outta me and probably start laughing all the while reminding me I don’t run from nothing but danger. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t believe in me…just means he knows me well enough to know that until I am actually doing it…I might not follow through with doing it.
Amen, sister! Wonderfully well said.
As far as goals are concerned, I’m glad most of the people I know don’t necessarily NEED the approval of others to do what they want to do. If you want to do it…do it. Why in the world do you care what someone who doesn’t eat, sleep or crap for you thinks about you doing you? I recently shared with someone that they give other people far too much power in their decisions. Trust yourself if you’ve proven to yourself that you have your best interest in mind. LOL!
Congrats on completing 1200 meters!
I swim like a fish. Ever since I was 3. By 4th grade I was swimming deep waters all over Jones Beach and the Carib. Due to my fear of sharks in open waters you will never catch me in beach water above my knees. I can’t see what’s in the murky waters so I ixnayed Jones Beach. I Would only go deep to save one of my kids…so I could give them some “re-education” once we get home. It amazes me when I hear of a person that comes from the islands and is/was not able to swim. My Mom was born & raised in Cuba with a river by her backyard and some of the most crystal blue beaches in the Carib and homegirl can’t swim. My mom swims like a rock and runs like a dog with no legs.LMFAO Praises on your aquatic achievement! CUDOS : )