Soccer Shenanigans

My boys play soccer on the “uppity”" side of town. Not just uppity…..FILTHY, STINKING, RICH. I try to make sure they have a balance between suburbs, hood and wealthy in all of their activities. They have to learn to be comfortable around people from all walks of life.

With playing soccer in this type of environment, we have come to be constantly entertained by the wealthy folks that we hobnob with every Saturday and how they interact with their children. Tali 2 plays in the 4-5 year old division. There are about 40 kids and they basically have no assisgned teams. Every week, they break them up into about 8 groups of five and they play each other. Some weeks, he is on a strong team, sometimes he gets the weaker team.

On Saturday, he was paired up with the most non-athletic group of kids ever. They were all adorable but they had zero aptitude for soccer. One kid would run up to the ball to kick it and miss and then fall down. (Can you say Charlie Brown?) Another kid kept running in the wrong direction. Another one was rocking bright blue sports goggles and I still don’t think he could see. Add in, uber-competitive, “I’ve been coached by my big brother the soccer all-star for five years running” and you already know it was a recipe for disaster.

The game raged on and of course, the other team was dominating. I could see the frustration growing on Tali 2′s face as the game wore on. I knew he was on the verge of a breakdown after he yelled for one of his teammates to pass and they kicked the ball in the other teams goal.

After the fourth goal was scored to their teams 1 goal (which my boy scored), the cute little boy with the blue sports goggles ran over to his team and said “Don’t worry guys, we’re tied now.”

“TIED? WE’RE NOT TIED. CAN’T YOU COUNT? WE ARE LOSING 4 TO 1!!!!! WE’RE GETTING KILLED! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU DUDE?”

I slipped my shades on and pretended to take a phone call as I could feel ALL of the snooty parents turn to look at the “brown” mommy whose son clearly had “issues”.

I called Mr. 1969 on the phone as he was on another field with Tali 1 to tell him that his son cussed out his team for being mediocre. His response “That’s my boy.”

*sigh*