Say something

I am not having a great week. I have had some personal issues weighing heavily on my mind and I am not the type of person to share my problems. I tend to turn inward and try to deal with my situation on my own.

Today, I woke up and ended up talking to someone about things. Not only did they give me great advice, they HELPED ME without my asking. The problem is now completely solved.  This after me beating myself up about it for a month now.

I don’t know why I am so hesitant to reach out to anyone when I need help. I guess I am so used to being there for others that I feel like a failure letting someone know that I need something.

I also feel like I should be able to handle everything in my life all the time. *sigh* Can you say control freak? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why are we afraid to be human?

Just want to say thank you to my dear friend and to God for providing a way out of this situation when I couldn’t see clearly. I won’t forget the lesson learned. My growth process continues.

Tastes like chicken!

I came across this old picture of Tali 2 eating his toes in the car. Hope it brings you as much joy as it brought me!

The Randomness

This is the 4th straight day over 90 degrees here in the Illadelph. I am not complaining because I LOVE THE HEAT! I will take this over the snow and cold anyday. That being said….it’s hot as hell. LOL

Is anyone else glad that the General got handed his walking papers swiftly and immediately?

If you have oily skin and you are prone to breakouts in the summer (or maybe it’s just me), I am currently using THIS and I highly recommend it. Inexpensive, natural ingredients and it doesn’t dry my skin out. Loving it.

I try but I can’t get with Twitter. *sigh*

“It’s too hot to work out. How do you do it?” “Uh….the gym is air conditioned.”

I am World Cup obsessed and rooting for TEAM USA!!!!!!!!!!! (and Brazil, Ghana and Portugal cause the men are ahem….very erra…athletic)

I have been to Rita’s water ice every single day for the past week. *sigh*

I love Philly in the summer. GREAT CONCERTS ABOUND!  This Saturday at Penns Landing (if you are in town) Morris Day and the Time are performing at the Taste of Philly. Yup, for free. At the Global Fusion Festival in July? En Vogue…yes for free (Mr. 1969 is already planning to get there early enough to be in the front row and he’s STILL bringing binoculars to closely examine make sure he doesn’t miss any booty shots action). You can’t beat this town for the focus on the arts and culture.

Did anyone catch the Boo.ndoc.ks the other night? They went HARD on Ty.lerPer.ry. I don’t know if it was funny though.

My favorite body part would have to be my legs. It’s great to be 40 and still be able to rock shorts. I just don’t wear them near the Dunkin Donuts…I have moved on to Starbucks. 

Speaking of 40, I will be 41 next Friday. I am feeling good about it and hoping there will be ice cream cake from Carvel with the chocolate crunchies.

I saw my man Maxwell (along with the fabulous Jill Scott) last Saturday and I have pictures but I haven’t had time to upload them yet. The post is coming.

Did I mention that at the concert, two rows in front of me (and I was only 10 rows back from the front row) there was a couple who brought a baby? Yes, a baby. She was also breastfeeding. And no, the baby didn’t have earplugs or headphones. You know I was about to call 1-800-bad-mommy right?

In Wu Tang news, the ringleader of the Wu Mansion (we call him the ODB) is gone. We think he was picked up or detained *cough*. The Wu house is actually quiet. We are hoping he stays gone for the summer!!!!

I miss the hotel chronicles. *sniff*

Bitter is the New Black

Yesterday was Father’s Day. A day to celebrate the great job that men are doing in our families.

I checked into Facebook and saw a number of messages thanking the “Father’s who are actively participating in their child’s lives” or to the “single mothers who are stepping up when the Father’s aren’t”.

As many of you know, for most of my life, I was raised by a single mother before reconnecting with my father as an adult. She did a helluva job raising my brother and I. In addition to calling my dad, I always call her on Father’s Day to thank her for all she did for me.

As I read all of the backhanded comments and heard even more as the day passed, I was saddened for our community. Yes, we know so many Father’s that for lack of a better term “ain’t shyt”. But Father’s Day is a day to celebrate the men that ARE doing their jobs, handling their business and raising their children.

When Mother’s Day rolls around, there are never any disclaimers. We don’t say “Happy Mother’s Day to the mother’s that are actively taking care of their kids”. We all just celebrate our mothers PERIOD.

How did we get so broken and if people are so hurt and angry that they simply can’t wish anyone a Happy Father’s Day without throwing in some bitter comment, how does that affect our children?

I know there are a lot of men that make babies and run. I know many that are not paying support, not visiting, not coming to the soccer games and not helping with homework. Father’s Day is not about them.

It is about the Father’s that comb their daughter’s hair. It’s about the Dad’s that play catch for hours at the park.  It’s for the Father’s that cheer or coach from the sidelines. The Dad’s that hug and tell you everything’s going to be okay.

I may not have always had my Dad around but I can put my personal feelings aside to simply say Happy Father’s Day without throwing in a side of bitterness.

I don’t know how we can fix our people and our broken spirits but we have to try for our children’s sakes. Let’s start by simply saying…

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO ALL OF THE GREAT DADS OUT THERE. THANK YOU AND WE APPRECIATE YOU!

Free Your Mind

I have a friend that is always lamenting over her dating woes. She is very attractive, well put together and a bright young lady. She can’t find a good man. She refuses to settle for anyone that won’t treat her the way she feels she deserves or has the characteristics (she does indeed have a list) that she wants in a man.

I have invited her out to functions to meet and mingle. I have introduced her to great guys but she always finds something to discredit them. They’re too “young, old, talkative, tall, quiet, live too far, etc…”

Finally, the other day, as she was bemoaning the man situation for the umpteenth time, I asked her one simple question:

“What makes you so wonderful that you feel you have the right to be so picky?”

The look on her face was priceless. Has anyone ever watched Chili’s reality show? After introducing her to a gazillion handsome, educated and nice men, she found something wrong with each of them after their initial meeting and opted to not date them again. My friend is Chili Jr.

I’m not saying you need to date every man that approaches you but be more open to giving someone an opportunity to tell their story and maybe, win you over.

If the man is gainfully employed, has a place to live, owns a car, dresses nicely and can carry on a good conversation…..how are you still shooting him down after talking to him for ten minutes? Go on a few dates. Talk about a few topics. It’s just a date. It’s not an audition for your virtue. Give him a shot.

Not to mention, you are single because all of the men you have dated in the past messed up, cheated, treated you poorly, etc. Sounds to me like what you’ve been doing hasn’t worked too well for you.

Think about it. Are you shooting a potential suitor down before he can even get his (or her) foot in the door? If the answer is yes, YOU may be the problem.

As for these lists, it’s great to have a checklist of dealbreakers but look inward….are you asking for something you don’t even have? I believe that 1/2 of those lists people make are filled with characteristics they wish THEY had.

It’s nice to have a dream man but it’s so much more fun to actually go out to dinner, drinks and a movie with a real one.

Keeping Up with the Tali’s

Making Memories

Mr. 1969 and I were having a late lunch on Friday afternoon. He mentioned that Saturday was going to be a balmy 86 degrees. Next thing I knew, we had decided to wake up super early on Saturday morning and take the boys to the beach for the day. 

That afternoon, I ran out to the Farmer’s Market and bought some watermelon, pineapple and strawberries to make a huge fruit salad. We also decided to buy two huge turkey hoagies, some chips and beverages. We got up at 7am, packed up the cooler and hit the road. By 9am, we were at the beach on the Jersey Shore with a stop over to walk the Boardwalk in Atlantic City (Why? Cause I love Fralinger’s salt water taffy!)

The boys hit the beach and immediately were ready to jump into the icy cold Atlantic.

As I watched them play, I was amazed at how big they had gotten. My boys are really growing up and the time is flying right before my eyes. They are the perfect age, three years apart. This is the best time. They argue, they make up, they are best friends and they truly love each other.

As I lay back and watched them enjoy this summer day, I was so thankful for my life, my family and the ability to take them places I love and give them experiences that will shape their lives. I remember trips to the beach with my family on summer weekends and now, I am taking my boys with me.

Moments like these reaffirm that I was meant to be here. Meant to be a mom. Meant to live this life. I am truly blessed and I couldn’t help but acknowledge it.

I love it when time slows down enough for me to notice the great things that are happening right under my nose.

Looking for Dexter

One of my dearest friends just returned from a trip to Jamaica with one of her girlfriends. She shared with me that when she was on the resort, they spent their evenings hanging out poolside and made friends with all of the waitstaff and bartenders. Her friend started flirting with the bartender and was ready to go off with him one night after he got off his shift.

Now everybody is grown and what you do in Jamaica stays in Jamaica but was Stella trying to get her groove back or what? We laughed about it on the phone and she told me she wasn’t trying to have her friend go out like Natalee Halloway. I agreed.

After thinking about the situation this morning….I have a few thoughts. Why do women go to the caribbean looking to hookup with men they wouldn’t even think about giving the time of day to here? Seriously, when was the last time you hooked up with a waiter or bartender? How about the pool boy or gardener? No way right?

However, get him down in the caribbean at a hotel or resort and these women will lose their damn minds trying to get with these dudes. Being caribbean myself, we laugh about this phenomenon. We even have names for such women and none of them are nice.

What makes the caribbean man so much more attractive? Is it the accent? The free spiritedness of the islands themselves? Nah….I blame Eddie Murphy. (Adult language)

Mandatory Fun Sucks

Can anyone answer why you would ever need to go out and bond with people you work with for ten hours a day, five days a week? Anyone? *crickets*

Yeah…I thought so. Tomorrow, after working a full day, my team is headed to a Phillies game. A night game. *sigh*

The game starts around 6pm. There will also be a Flyers championship game taking place.  Parking near the stadiums? No way. The Phillies have already sent ticket holders a message stating that it’s best to take the train to the stadium.

My plan is to head out to downtown, park my car at the hotel and jump on the train. I can’t see myself staying for an entire 9 innings after being at work all day. Someone please remind me why this was a good idea?

At that time of night, I will be taking the subway back downtown and then driving home. I really hate these mandatory outings. I know they want the team to bond but if we wanted to be friendly outside of work…wouldn’t we do that on our own?

Not to mention, I hate the Phillie’s cause I bleed blue and orange. METS!!!!!!

Pray for me tomorrow.

What The Fudge?

So I park my car at Target and as I am getting out of the car, I take a look at the car next to mine.

Let’s take a closer look shall we?

Is there such a thing as a car hoarder? Who do I call to report this hazard? How do you see out of your rear window? Isn’t this nasty? I can’t…..talk amongst yourselves.