I have a friend that is always lamenting over her dating woes. She is very attractive, well put together and a bright young lady. She can’t find a good man. She refuses to settle for anyone that won’t treat her the way she feels she deserves or has the characteristics (she does indeed have a list) that she wants in a man.
I have invited her out to functions to meet and mingle. I have introduced her to great guys but she always finds something to discredit them. They’re too “young, old, talkative, tall, quiet, live too far, etc…”
Finally, the other day, as she was bemoaning the man situation for the umpteenth time, I asked her one simple question:
“What makes you so wonderful that you feel you have the right to be so picky?”
The look on her face was priceless. Has anyone ever watched Chili’s reality show? After introducing her to a gazillion handsome, educated and nice men, she found something wrong with each of them after their initial meeting and opted to not date them again. My friend is Chili Jr.
I’m not saying you need to date every man that approaches you but be more open to giving someone an opportunity to tell their story and maybe, win you over.
If the man is gainfully employed, has a place to live, owns a car, dresses nicely and can carry on a good conversation…..how are you still shooting him down after talking to him for ten minutes? Go on a few dates. Talk about a few topics. It’s just a date. It’s not an audition for your virtue. Give him a shot.
Not to mention, you are single because all of the men you have dated in the past messed up, cheated, treated you poorly, etc. Sounds to me like what you’ve been doing hasn’t worked too well for you.
Think about it. Are you shooting a potential suitor down before he can even get his (or her) foot in the door? If the answer is yes, YOU may be the problem.
As for these lists, it’s great to have a checklist of dealbreakers but look inward….are you asking for something you don’t even have? I believe that 1/2 of those lists people make are filled with characteristics they wish THEY had.
It’s nice to have a dream man but it’s so much more fun to actually go out to dinner, drinks and a movie with a real one.