The Hotel Chronicles

Standard

The managers in my hotel rotate a shift for lobby duty. Since most folks check-in between the hours of 5-7:30pm, we make sure at least one manager is standing in the lobby to greet guests during this time. Last night was my shift. Here is a nice conversation I had with a random guest. He was a lovely gentleman about 55 years old. I had sent him to the bar for a martini earlier in the evening.

Him:  That was a good martini!

Me: Glad you enjoyed it.

Him: Can I buy you one?

Me: No thanks sir, I am actually still on the clock.

Him: What time do you get off? I’m being very forward right?

Me: (laughing) Actually sir, I have been here since 8am and believe me when I tell you, I will be racing home to my family as soon as my time is up. But thanks for the offer, I appreciate it.

Him: I just want to tell you….I can be a pig sometimes. I really can. Men are just terrible creatures. I was wondering if you could recommend um…..well…..a place where……um….I could …….

Me: You want to know where the Gentlemen’s Clubs are?

Him: Yes. Wow, I must look like a pig. I swear I am not usually this horrible.

Me: Sir, you are a businessman on a business trip looking for something to do tonight. I don’t judge. Let me get you a list of places.

Him: Thanks so much….what is this one club like?

Me: Well, I actually have a card for them. Here you go.

Him: No….this is one of those places where they want you to spend lots of money. Drinks. Cover charges. Too much. I’m looking for more of a…..um…..certain kind of woman.

Me: You need a hooker?

Him: Exactly. Wow. I really am not this much of a pig. I swear. I’m normally a very nice man.

Me: Well sir, I can’t tell you where to find one but I can find someone else that would know. Hold on one moment.

(I go grab the bellman. Tell him what the guy needs. The bellman comes over and talks to him. )

Him: I need a cab.

Me: I just called one for you.

Him: You are the best!

Me: That’s what they tell me. Have a great evening sir.

All in a day’s work.

34 Responses »

  1. Ummmm… EWWW.
    I guess you run into all kinds – and you’re amazing, because I don’t know if I’d be able to conceal my shock and disgust very well.

  2. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    “so…you need a hooker?” LMAO again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. The real question is, why does the bellman know where to find hookers? LOL. I’m hoping he knows only because it’s a commonly asked question.

  4. wow. just…wow.

    My thing is.. if you gon’ be about it be A.BOUT IT! Don’t be all “I’m usually not a pig….”.. pshsst… please! Yes you are! Just man up and ask for what you want! LOL I would have called it out JUST as you did “what, you want a HOOKER???”

    Woo wee…. in a world of AIDS and every dang thang else, prostitution will NEVER die! Now THAT is what amazes me…that their business doesn’t suffer, but I guess sex always had and always WILL …Sell.

  5. Wow! I had a flashback of back in the day when I worked in a hotel. Some of those guests had some really really weird requests. I am truly cracking up over ‘I’m usually not a pig…’ seriously???

  6. What? Hold up. So, was he trying to buy you drinks thinking that YOU were gonna be down???

    Now, 1969, tell the truth. You know you’re gonna miss all this when you’re working from home! What entertainment!

  7. You know…if ya’ll get some professional womens conferences we could clean up once I start Arm Candy Inc., (Sophisticated escorts for the modern woman).

  8. I’m kind of mad y’all have a list of “pole dancing facilities.” And he looked at the list like it was just beyond him.. Guess he wanted more personal attention. LMAO

  9. This is why you’re my homey!! LOL I could see you taking it all in stride without even batting an eye.

    “Me? Not interested. Hooker? Sure, I can make that happen. Have a blessed day!” LOL

  10. Sixty, this is off topic but I need to ask you a question:

    If you reserve space or a hall (im not sure exactly what to call it)for an event at a hotel can you request a menu?

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