Happy Thanksgiving

UPDATED: 4:30pm Thanksgiving day.

Eating too much turkey leads to folks being knocked the eff out.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Knocked out on the arm of the chair.

Don’t eat turkey and drive!!!

Holiday, it’s a Holiday….

Firt off, I must wish a very Happy Birthday to the fabulous MELONIE who is probably out well, being fab. Enjoy your day Missy and we will celebrate when you return. Happy Thanksgiving!

The menu is all set and I leave here at 3pm today and don’t return to work until next Monday. Ahhh….life is good.

Tomorrow I will hit the ground running and try to finish most of my baking and prep work so I can just cook on Thursday. I wish you all safe travels and yes, yes….as always, I will post pictures of the food. Most important, remember to be thankful for all of your blessings. I am so grateful for my kids, my husband, our home, my friends and family, having a job, being able to provide for my loved ones and of course, my health.  I am also thankful for everyone that stops over here to check me out.

Enjoy the Holiday, God Bless.

 

The countdown is on…

to the Superbowl of food. After a whirlwind weekend in DC where I attended a fabulous dinner, laughed till my sides hurt, hung out with my family and then learned some Wii yoga…I returned home to chaos.

Three days to go until Thanksgiving and I am soo not organized. Luckily for me, I am a lame duck Sales Executive. With four weeks to go until my last day at the job and having already made my numbers for the year, your girl can focus today on two things. Fine tuning her menu and shopping list and the Black Friday sales.

Yes, I do believe that I am headed out to Tar.get for my first ever….Black Friday shopping experience. The lure of $5 pajamas and socks while battling screaming sleep deprived shoppers is too tempting. Every year I say I am going out there and I never do. This may actually be my year. I will of course take pictures and document the process for your entertainment.

How are you planning on celebrating the holiday and how was your weekend? DO tell.

What women want…

I had a lively cafeteria conversation yesterday. The Mars vs Venus discussion was raging and the men were asking the women at the table the age old question “What do women want?”

I sat back and listened as each woman talked about the things they wanted….faithfulness, honesty, financial stability, sense of humor, etc. The men listened intently and when they finally got to me I gave them my honest answer.

“YOU CAN’T EVER PLEASE US BECAUSE WOMEN WANT IT ALL.”

Yup, that’s right…we want everything we can get. Women are selfish creatures. Ladies, some of you are shaking your heads right now and telling yourself that 1969 is crazy. I’m not crazy, I’m honest. You can sit there thinking you’re low maintenance but trust me, to a man….you’re not.

Everytime we ask for something and we actually get it? We change our minds and want something else. We are never satisfied. We’re moody. We rarely do a good job of communicating our needs. Why?

Because although we want everything…..wait for it……we don’t want to have to ask for it. We want someone who will just inherently know that and do it.

We want a man that will feed off of us, sense what we are going through, read our cues and handle things. It’s that simple. We don’t want to have to tell you what we need. We feel like if you were paying attention and really cared about us, you would make it your job to KNOW.

Is this realistic? NOPE. Essentially, we want a mind reader (with a six figure income, abs of steel, a house and a car who gets busy in the bedroom.)

That’s why so many women are single. We go into a relationship with unrealistic expectations of our mates.

A successful woman will soon learn that she needs to have more realistic expectations. Note, I am not saying settling….just having more realistic expectations. Men are not here to rescue us and save us from ourselves. Placing all of your happiness in someone else’s hands will ultimately lead to failure and unhappiness on your part.

You want something? Speak up. You’re angry? Let them know.

I also think women often seek perfection when they would be wise to take a long look in the mirror. What are YOU bringing to the table? Are you seeking a mate with qualities and posessions that you don’t even have? Are you essentially a food stamp trying to catch a tall glass of champagne?

Work on your fabulosity before you start complaining about what that man doesn’t have. Nothing wrong with wanting it all when you are bringing IT your damn self.

What say you good people? Weigh in.

I’m back!

I feel like I need one of those t-shirts that say “I survived training!”. Well, it was a long week but I made it and I am back to my normal routine, chilling at my desk with a cup of Starbucks, counting down the days until I am working diligently from my home office.

This was a good weekend. I fit in some me time and headed out to see Precious. The movie was tough to watch in many places but I thought the acting was excellent. Monique and Mariah (yes, Mrs. Cannon) did a great job, as did the young actress in the lead role. Lenny Kravitz provided me with some much needed eye candy as Nurse John. All in all, a good film that has a strong message.

Today, I got on the train and reunited with my commuter crew. You know I have train buddies right? LOL

One lady that rides the train with me every morning is from New York and has a daughter the same age as Tali 2. She is Haitian and Dominican so we are both Caribbean. We clicked instantly. We were talking about the problems she is having with her daughter’s school. When I asked her what was going on….she told me that she is trying to find a new school as she is about to transfer her daughter out of there.

Basically, the kids went on trip last week and when she came to pick up her child, the teacher informed her that the daughter was very rambunctious on the trip. She said she was running around and was hard to control. Just as she was about to discuss it further the teacher then stated “My spirit is telling me she acts like that because her hair is always out.”

*CRICKETS*

Her daughter looks very spanish and has shoulder length straight hair. She usually wears it out with two barettes in the front. The teacher ahem…clearly has an issue with that.

It’s too early for these types of shenanigans. Didn’t I already tell everyone to keep their hair issues to themselves? Who says that in 2009?

Anyway, what’s new folks? What’s happening? What did I miss?

Blessed.

Monday-Training started at 8am. Walked back into my house at 7:30pm

Tuesday-Training started at 8am. Walked back into my house at 8pm

Wednesday-Training started at 8am. Walked back into my house at 7:30pm

Does anything move slower than training? Powerpoint presentations, huge binders full of information I probably won’t remember when I start in January. The high point has been receiving all of my new equipment. New laptop, blackberry, aircard, wireless router, shredder, fax, printer, laptop bag….they have spared no expense for the new elite sales force.

I am bonding with my Area Team members. I really think we hired some good folks and although the new job looks challenging, I think I will really like it.

I am doing my best to really focus and pay attention but the days are soooo long and there is soooo much information.

I walked in the door tonight, cooked dinner and took a long hot shower. I am currently posted up in my flannel pajamas, sipping some Pinot and waiting for Glee.

No matter how exhausted I am, I am so happy to have a job.

My life on the D List….

No real focus to this post. I have a whole lot going on this weekend and next week so posting will probably be out of the question.

I begin training next week for my new job. I will be out of pocket since the training runs from 7:30am till about 6-6:30pm each day. At the training, we will also receive all of our stuff for our new home offices. New blackberry, laptop with air card, printer/fax/scanner…the WORKS.

I will do my best to schedule some posts to keep you all entertained or I may replay some of my favorite old ones (the 1969 Remix)….hell, knowing me…I may not do anything!

I am in the process of getting ready for Thanksgiving too. My shopping list spreadsheet is in full effect. My menu is being tweaked and I am scouring the stores for new platters.  I also just sent the boys Christmas wish list off to Santa (Mama 1969) so we can all get started early.

Lastly, my holiday gift to myself is getting my home office remodeled and decorated. I want to start the new year in new space so I will be ready and motivated to think big and be a success.

This weekend, I will be doing loads of running around and I will also cheer my Soccer Superstar, Tali 1 on as he competes in his 4th straight appearance in the ALL-STAR GAME. That boy is destined for greatness!

Try not to miss me too much next week and pray that I don’t fall asleep in training. So not the hotness. PEACE!

 

Philly, Who’s Your Daddy?

Congratulations to the World Champions of Baseball on their 27th Championship. I love you New York!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“King of the Hill…A Number one…..” sing it Frankie!

I’ve finally recovered…

from my crazy weekend. Halloween and soccer wore me out. To top it all off, we took the Tali’s (who had absolutely NO IDEA they were going) to their very first football game. It was Eagles vs. Giants so you already know there was drama.

We bundled them up and told them we were headed out to a big cookout and to watch the game *crickets*. Hey, they’re kids, they believe everything!

So we drove downtown, parked the car and took the subway to the stadium. Here’s Tali 2 coming up the stairs.

When they saw this:

They lost it! LOL They were so excited.

As you know, my Giants currently S_U_C_K. The Birds dominated from the on-set and I took lots of abuse from the Bird fans. Luckily, the Yankees upheld my city and whooped the Phillies later that night.

However, your buddies had a complete ball and got to sing the Eagles song about 50 times as their offense scored at will.

As for me, I only had one verbal altercation. A record for me at an Eagles game. And I give props to my fellow New Yorkers who are gully enough to rep for the Empire State on enemy territory! GO YANKEES….

Why I don’t give marital advice…..

Marriage is a relationship between two individuals. Like any partnership, both sides have to be fully engaged in the goals, believe in the mission and give equal effort in order to sustain the company’s future.

Now when it is only the two of you, it is pretty easy to manage the company. You are both in tune with each other’s needs. You can focus 100% on making each other happy. Your house is operating in order and life is good.

The challenge with marriage is once you start having children. Yeah, I said it. Children are absolutely a blessing and they, no doubt, enrich your lives every single day but they change the dynamics of your once stable relationship into utter chaos.

Children mean that each of you needs to shift your focus. As a woman who becomes a mother, your husband is still a priority but that child is now relying on you for everything. It is your job to make sure that they are cared for at all times. The man in the relationship needs to be mature in his acceptance of this fact. He needs to understand that his needs are going to drop lower on the priority list and he needs to be okay with that.

Most men say they understand and accept this and, of course, it’s their child…they are fine with their needs being placed on the back burner. Let me let you in on a secret….they’re not. Men like being catered to and pampered. Yes, even the ones that are fiercely independent and highly self sufficient will start to harbor ill feelings when you spend all of your time kissing and hugging that baby and less time worried about their hot dinner, clean shirts and hugging and kissing them. Let’s be real. They married you because you gave them lots of attention. You made them feel like a million bucks, you spoiled them and you could not wait to wake up each day in their presence.

When they start noticing that your attentions have shifted, it stings. They may attempt to talk to you about it and you get sensitive. You feel as though they are critiquing you and you remind them that you are busy taking care of THEIR baby, trying to also run THEIR household and you would appreciate THEIR help in cooking dinner sometimes. All he is really saying is that he misses you and how things used to be.

For the woman, it’s tough. There is no manual on adjusting to parenthood. While women do have a natural maternal instinct…it’s not enough to teach her how to juggle all of these new roles. She is now expected to be able to do it all and society will judge her if she can’t. If she says she is tired, her laundry stacks up, dishes go unwashed or, God forbid, doesn’t feel like cooking dinner…she’s a failure.

What does the woman do when she senses she is losing a grip on her nice orderly life? She tries even harder by overcompensating and trying to do EVERYTHING. While she is doing all of this….she is also trying to come to grips with losing herself. Her body has betrayed her. Her skinny jeans and bikini are now thrown in the back of the closet. She could care less about doing her hair. She is basically trying to survive on coffee and three hours of sleep a night while her husband is trying to have quickies and doesn’t understand what’s wrong with her? “You used to do it ALL THE TIME before.” “Well, we had a baby. I don’t have time for that right now.” She’s trying to say she’s scared that she won’t be able to handle all of this newfound responsibility and that she’s overwhelmed…he’s trying to tell her that he still loves her and he still finds her attractive.

He doesn’t understand what is happening with his wife.  He is scared that he is losing the happy, sexy, fun woman he married. He can’t say anything because the culprit is THE BABY and hey, he loves the baby. What kind of moron would try to compete with a baby?

She clings to the baby because the baby isn’t judging her. She knows that no matter how much she messes everything else up, the baby will still love her unconditionally.

I don’t know any HONEST couple that hasn’t gone through this. It sounds crazy but it is real. Kids change things. I have so many friends that swore this would never happen to them and all I could do was be there for them when the inevitable breakdown came holding a box of Kleenex and a pint of ice cream. Oh yes, the breakdown always comes, even to perfect people who have a master plan.

My one girlfriend SouthernBelle remembers one day when her baby was crying for the fourth hour straight. Do you even understand what having a baby cry for four hours will do to your nerves? She left her house with the crying baby, in a stained t-shirt she had been wearing all week with her hair piled up in a *gasp* scrunchie and showed up at her husband’s Saturday am basketball game. She handed him their crying baby and took off in her car for hours. She always talks about how the men on the court all looked at her like she was some crazy homeless woman. They were speechless, including her stunned husband. His fabulous corporate diva would never turn into this crazy wild woman.

The poor men tend to start focusing on their jobs where they can still maintain control. You are pissed off wanting help and feeling like they are distant. You weren’t born the Baby Whisperer and you’re learning how to deal with this kid on your own. There are no instructions and it looked so much easier when your friends had kids. Who knew it was so hard and what happened to your nice home and great relationship? What happened to being cute and being great at your job? Where are all of your friends that came to the shower and the wedding? Why are all of your sexy pairs of underwear suddenly so damned uncomfortable and irritating?!?! We won’t even add the drama of real life…..bills, family, work stress, etc…

This my friends is where the love, patience and communication have to step in. You have to both speak up and fight for what you want and need. You have to STOP being selfish and start thinking of the other person’s needs. Most importantly, you have to take every single fairytale notion you both had of what marriage is and throw that shyt in the trash and get ready to start over from scratch and rebuild your OWN version.

Finding new ways to love each other when everything around you is changing for the worse…..that’s what real love is all about. I don’t talk about the love I have for my husband too often. We have what I call a “battle tested relationship”. Despite what many of you think…we are more like the Connor’s on Ros.e.anne sometimes than the Huxtables. We argue. We disagree. We get mad at each other. Sometimes, in rare instances, we are perfect. Most times, we aren’t. Sometimes we care. Sometimes we hurt each other’s feelings on purpose. However, every single day….we both wake up and we decide to try again. We forgive each other and keep moving forward. We know each other’s faults and we accept them.

I can’t always talk about how our lives are so happy because sometimes, it is truly crazy and we are barely keeping our heads above water. However, we both would rather be here battling in the trenches than anywhere else or with anyone else. We love each other and we’re committed to each other and to our home and our children. Some of our methods would shock you and some would make no sense to you. Hey, they work for us and we could care less about anyone else’s life. We can only do us.

It’s worked for nine years and two children so we’re going to keep on trying and revising the game plan as we go. I wish I could tell some of you how wonderful it is to be married. How it’s all breakfast in bed, walks on the beach and romantic nights curled up in front of the fire. Well,it’s not and no, it’s not for everyone. Some of you can’t handle it because you can only focus on yourself and your own needs. You’re simply not ready and hey, that’s okay because it will get hard and to make a relationship like this work, you need to be ready for it.

It’s noise and kids, mortgages and car payments. It’s choosing to pay school tuition, purchase soccer equipment and throw a birthday party over a Valentine’s gift for each other. That’s real love. Battle tested and proven. It’s actions, not words. It’s day in and day out not grand gestures and promises.

It’s being in the trenches with someone who absolutely has your back no matter if you forgot to make them lunch, wash their socks or give them some at midnight after the last showing of Spo.rtsCenter (sorry Honey). That’s what I have and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.