The Hotel Chronicles

Everytime something crazy happens to me in a hotel, I think there’s NO WAY anything can top that.

Last week, we had an incident that tops all incidents. Crazier than the dead bodies, the jumpers, the back to back heart attacks, the prostitutes, the athletes, the cheaters, the scam artists and the crazy co-workers.

My Restaurant Director came upstairs to our offices cracking the heck up. I made the mistake of asking him what was up. *sigh*

It seems we had an accident in the lobby. What kind of accident, you ask? An accident involing a grown man and erra…..shyt. Yes, I said it. Defecation, ca ca, boo boo, poop, feces…..shyt.

I literally sat there with my mouth open for three full seconds….as he laughed hysterically with tears pouring down his face.

“WHAT?”

“Someone had an accident in the lobby.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Nope.”

“What happened?????”

Basically, a well dressed gentleman ran into the restaurant and asked where the restroom was. The Restaurant Manager gave him directions and he took off across the lobby. However, clearly….not all of him made it across.

Since our lobby floor is a marble texture….it went unnoticed until another guest stepped in it and brought this to our attention. Can you say “EWWWWWwwwwwww”?

I ran to look into the atrium and look down at the lobby. I say look down, cause you know your girl was not venturing down there in person. LOL

Sure enough, it looked like a damn CSI crime scene. The housekeeping team* had the area roped off, big yellow and orange caution signs were surrounding the area, towels were placed over the scene. It was just crazy looking.

*sidebar….Housekeepers all deserve praise and raises.

I came back to my office and all of the managers were cracking up. What the fudge?

One of the managers wondered out loud if the guy had checked in to a room afterwards. The response from another one?

“I don’t know what the rules are for shytting in a hotel lobby but I would think that Rule number one is you get the hell out of there as fast as possible afterwards.”

That my friends was the quote of the day and yes, I have now officially seen it all.