So the other night, around 8pm, I looked outside my window and there was a man standing on my lawn. Mr. 1969 had just left the house for a run to Lowe’s for something he needed for a home project.
Now you guys may recall that my block is extremely residential and quiet with the exception of the people in the house next door to me. My husband (and now my children) refer to these neighbors as The Wu Tangs. Why? Because it seems like there are 25 of them in that house and they are loud as HELL.
Now all summer long, I have ignored their kids running over onto my lawn. I have ignored waking up and finding trash on my property, the loud friends and music.
However, looking out the window at 8pm and seeing some grown man outside standing on my lawn was too much for your girl.
I walked outside and lo and behold….this man had spread three rugs on my grass. Say it with me…..WHAT THE FUDGE?!?!?!
I came outside, stood there and gave him the “Are you crazy stare.” There was no niceness, he got the straight Brooklyn 1969.
“I need you to pick up all of your stuff and move it over to your property.”
“I heard you ma’am but I was praying.”
“I appreciate that you are praying. Allah appreciates your devotion. Now pick up all of your stuff and move it to your property and pray over there.”
“I heard you the first time. You don’t have to say it again.”
SCREEEEEEEECH. He said that last line with an attitude. Are you kidding me? You have spread three rugs on my grass and are praying on my lawn and you have the nerve to have an attitude with me?
You know it was on and popping now right?
“Excuse me? You are camped out on my lawn and you have an attitude? Maybe if all 25 of you decided to mow your own lawn one day when you are loitering on your steps….your grass wouldn’t be ten feet tall and it would be more conducive to prayer time. I wish I would just roll up on someone’s property and throw down a damn blanket and start picnicking on someone else’s property. If I had come out here and started swinging a bat cause I thought you were trying to harm me and my children….I’d be wrong…right?”
So basically, he upped and picked up all of his stuff and went back into his house as I stood there going off.
When Mr. 1969 got home three minutes after my altercation….I was still pissed off and talking to myself. I filled him in and his words of wisdom: