What can I say about Caribbean women in response to my post about the men?
I love Caribbean women. I grew up with the greatest one ever….my Mother. In addition, I was blessed by being surrounded by my five aunts. From these six women alone, I can tell you all you need to know about Island women.
We are Do-ers. A caribbean woman is typically a hard worker. Whether she is in school, corporate america or at home, she tends to push herself extremely hard and will rarely ask for help. She has an “I can do it all” persona. I think this stems from growing up in an environment where your home and children were a direct reflection of your skills as a wife and mother. You will rarely see a Caribbean woman’s kids in the street looking dirty or disheveled.
Home means everything…..I can vividly remember being woken up on Saturday mornings at around 6am to help my mother clean the house. No wonder I hate doing housework now. LOL
When these women clean, they clean. Bleach, scrub brush, cleaning floors on hands and knees…..I mean CLEAN.
Most Caribbean women are very refined. Don’t forget the islands were primarily British….many of our nations gained independence in the 60’s and 70’s so that British style of living is still prevelant in many of our societies. Very proper.
We are also particular about our appearance. Yes, we love a BRIGHT color but we can carry it off. She may be simple in her everyday appearance but let a group of Island women leave the house for a party……it’s on. It’s like a fashion show. When I go home to Trinidad, best believe, the ladies are wearing the latest everything.
These women are strict mothers. They have high expectations for their children, expect good manners and no back talk. They rule their house with an iron fist.
They are good wives. Very loyal and have a high regard for home but will cuss someone out in an instant. And you may have been cussed out before but NEVER like you would from an island woman. Lawdy. My mother knows words you have never heard before. When provoked these women will bring you down to your knees. They will talk about every single thing wrong with you and cut you to the core with one sentence.
There is another group of Caribbean women that we call SLACK. These are the ones that wear the pum pum shorts and flirt openly with husbands. There’s nothing like one of these SLACK women getting beat up by somebody’s wife or girlfriend. Especially in a club. LMAO.
Overall, my most personal observation is that women like my mom tend to have a hard time asking for help or showing love outwardly. I know my mom loves me to pieces but should I call her right now and say “Mom, I’m sad today.”…..
Her instant Caribbean response would be “Wha yuh sad for? Hmpmh…..I doh have nuh time to be sad. I so busy. I wish I could be sad. Hmpmh *insert teeth sucking*”
Two days later, I would probably get a card from her in the mail.
See how it works? They just CANNOT show emotions. I think that sometimes in their quest to raise strong kids, run the house and be a good wife….they forget that showing emotion does not make one weak.
This is the main struggle I face with my relationship with my mother. Evil and berating first….love second.
Feel free to pipe in with your thoughts…..

22 comments
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August 7, 2008 at 1:14 pm
shani-o
“When provoked these women will bring you down to your knees. They will talk about every single thing wrong with you and cut you to the core with one sentence.”
Two words: my mother.
And I have similar issues with her, as you have with yours. But she actively tries to be sympathetic and understanding. Tries being the key word. She doesn’t always succeed, but she has a good heart.
August 7, 2008 at 1:20 pm
BK
LOL same issue with my mother.. then days later I get a hug or everything will be alright.. LOL
Now the slack gals.. dem skettel gals.. Hmph.. those fights were PRICELESS!!!!
I agree on the 6am housework.. I hated it and hate it evenmore so now BUT why do I make mine do it too?? I at least give them till 9am though *shrug*
Oh and when they cuss you they are quick to pull any form a blade.. machete, knife, or even a cast iron skillet to bust you upside da head..
Infamous for saying.. TWO BIG WOMAN CAN’T LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE or SO YOU THINK YOU A MAN? WELL GO OUTSIDE AND BE A MAN AND THEN CHANGE THE LOCKS
August 7, 2008 at 1:23 pm
brran1
LOL you hit it on the head again Sixty. Got me ready to make that 12 hour drive to Miami to see my aunts.
August 7, 2008 at 1:50 pm
nineteen69
I heard TWO GROWN WOMEN CAN’T LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE almost daily when I was a teenager. LOL
That and remember “YOU WANT SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT?” “GO IN THE NEXT ROOM….BIG PEOPLE TALKING”
August 7, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Amadeo
When I think of a Trini woman…I think of a mix…most especially a girl I met in High School…black…straight hair…Italian last name…celebrated Indian (dot) holidays.
August 7, 2008 at 2:21 pm
erica b.
Hmmmm… my folks must have Caribbean blood. That sounds like them! LOL
August 7, 2008 at 2:23 pm
nineteen69
Caribbean and Southern are VERY similiar Erica B. LOL
August 7, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Odyssey
Yes, Caribbean and Southern are very similar because this sounds like my mama too. Quick to cuss you out but she was very affectionate. I too remember hearing “two grown women can’t live in the same house”, “You want something to cry about” “get out of grown folks conversation”.
And, sadly, some of my American male relatives fit the bill of Caribbean men too.
August 7, 2008 at 3:17 pm
alwaysfunkyfresh
It took me X amount of years to get that spaghetti I ate from my Jamaican ex-girlfriend out of my system……
August 7, 2008 at 4:00 pm
dmac
co-signing on the southern women thing. right down to the cannot easily show affection. the sad thing is, i’m the same way with my kids even though i try not to be, lol!
August 7, 2008 at 4:06 pm
CreoleInDC
Sounds like Creole women too.
August 7, 2008 at 4:32 pm
nikki indigo
my mom was born in south carolina, raised in new york. she shows alot of affection, but that’s cuz she didn’t get it from her ’southern-born’ mother. i think in my grandmother’s case, because she grew up without her own mother, she just didn’t know how to show affection.
my mom WILL do battle, though. however, someone has to take her ‘there’. she gotta warm up to it. LOL
August 7, 2008 at 4:43 pm
mrslish
1969 remember that post I wrote a few months back about my mother(In Her Shoes) She’s the reason why I’m such a caveman…lol…
A few years ago I was visiting my parents and eating dinner. My mother looks over at me and says ” You’re such a dissapointment” My father dropped his fork and looked at her like she had TWO HEADS! Before he could respond I said ” Why? Because I don’t have a big time Law degree like my sister or make a WHOPPING SIX FIGURE INCOME! So I’m a failure!. Check this out Ma.I’ve never been locked up, Don’t do drugs, no baby mamas, and I’ve always maintained at least two jobs. I’m a success Ma. I’m a success as a human being. I’m a good person. So if you want to judge me on material things go right ahead. I know who I am and still love you.”
Now I know what she really meant to say, but West Indian women love to speak before they actually think about what’s going to come out. I think my mom was probably dissapointed that I hadn’t taken advantage of some of the opportunities presented to me. She was right but to say that to her first born was hurtful.
Like you. I’ve learned to live with it and read between the lines, but it has caused me to be a little stand offish at times and it saddens her.She doesn’t say anything to me, but I know deep down she wishes things between us were different…
Ya know what!! I feel a tear coming…Lemme go call her…lol
August 7, 2008 at 5:10 pm
nineteen69
Slishy….your mom sounds like my mom. Mine would not outright call me a disappointment (that was HARSH….ouch).
However, mine does things like….talk about her issues all thetime but if I call her and say something’s bothering me …..she goes on the attack.
“Why are you having problems? You need to fix them and stop complaining. So what? Everyone has problems. Just deal with it.”
I never get the Claire Huxtable advice or “sorry you’re having a bad day” advice that I seek. I have learned to shut down and only share bits and pieces of my life. I internalize everything.
It’s weird because I know my mother LOVES ME TO PIECES. She would give anything for me to be happy. She just CANNOT EVER say it to me.
She has to do it in her way.
West Indian women do speak out of turn but have big hearts. It’s a blessing and a curse.
August 7, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Dee
You are so right on about the no emotions thing. In fact, the biggest complaint from my husband (and brother) is that I can be quite cold. Well, I do what I saw growing up! My grandmother said “I love you” to me for the first time when I was already an adult. I was so shocked, I quickly rattled it back and hung up the phone, haha.
August 7, 2008 at 7:33 pm
LH
This explains (but not excuses) a lot about a woman I used to deal with. She’s from the States but her people are from Jamaica. In a word, she was intractable. She’d always bring up her mother when trying to explain why she was the way she was. This fills in some of the blanks. Maybe if I’d known this before I made her a part of black history, things would be different.
Then again, maybe not, because even knowing that West Indian women can’t get their mouths right, doesn’t make it easier to deal with–big heart or not.
August 7, 2008 at 7:39 pm
InnerDiva
“When provoked these women will bring you down to your knees. They will talk about every single thing wrong with you and cut you to the core with one sentence.”
So true! My mother likes to tease me about EVERYTHING. I tell her if I had low self esteem, she would have made me jump off a bridge long time ago.
Saturday mornings? You would find us cleaning and listening to soca on WLIB.
You know how many times I’ve heard “you want something to cry about?”
August 7, 2008 at 8:12 pm
shanmoore
Wow. My Jamaican mother to a tee. It makes me sad that our mothers still have to carry on the strong facade. However, I feel blessed to recognize when the wall has to come down…
Great post. Made me miss mi aunty dem…
August 7, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Pepper
hmmmmmm….thankfully this no emotion thing maybe uhm….fadin out. my grandmother is emotionless, my mother total opposite and most other moms i kno too…
i can relate to all them sayings tho…big ppl talking, you waan summn fi bawl bout, me a the only big ooman dat can live here
August 8, 2008 at 2:22 am
stephanie
“YOU WANT SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT?”
sounds like all black moms to me. they do not play.
August 8, 2008 at 1:30 pm
IJ
Gyal ne come pun round me fi dat puff mouth tall tall tall! Gwan mek me find reeeeason fi dat! (Followed by sucked teeth).
LOL…
I’ll cosign this one again – and also add – they usually have gorgeous skin too. I secretly wish I had inherited the sharp tongue sometimes, though.
October 11, 2008 at 7:00 am
Diana
“THEY CANNOT SHOW EMOTIONS” So true!! This is why many west indian women are single. They push people away with this attitude, let alone being able to connect with a man. I am an american born to Jamaican parents and I fight the west indian non-emotional qualities instilled inside me everyday. Walking around like I don’t care, or like nothing bothers me is only hurting me. I’ve realized I am only pushing great things away from me by being this way and I hate it.