Cookout etiquette

I love a good cookout. What could be better than food cooked over an open flame?

However, based on a few experiences I have had so far this summer…..I see that cookout etiquette must be addressed.

Don’t invite me over and when I get there…..you are running out for charcoal or now lighting the grill and the food is still frozen. **crickets**

If the invitation is for a cookout…..folks are coming over HONGRY. They expect…..FOOD. You need to be ready to go.

A cookout must include SIDE DISHES. Yes, hamburgers and hot dogs are nice but we need potato salad, macaroni salad, corn, baked beans……something to go with the meat. Just handing someone a burger on a plate is not enough and potato chips don’t count.

Please splurge for the GOOD paper plates and cutlery. *sigh* Do I even need to go into how hard it is to eat food with a cheap azz fork that twists up when you are trying to eat your potato salad? Do I need to discuss that having to use five paper plates just to avoid getting food stains on your clothes is tacky and trifling?

Burgers, chicken, etc….need to be seasoned. Nothing worse than a burger fresh out of the box and slapped on a grill. Can you get me some Lawrys or something? UGH.

Cooked on the outside does not mean cooked on the inside. Check your food before serving to others. No one wants to leave the cookout with salmonella poisoning.

Once again, you cannot leave anything with mayo out in the sun for hours. Keep those items in the fridge or in a cooler or in a large container on ice. Refer to the afore mentioned salmonella quote.

Please bring something for your host. Do not walk into the cookout empty handed. Bring wine, beer, dessert, flowers, a side dish…..something. And do not show up with extra folks at your side unless you clear it with your host.

Feel free to add your own…..cause I could go on all day long.

Solitary Confinement

Let me be honest about something…..despite working in hospitality…..there are many times when I really don’t like people.

Yes.

You heard me.

Sometimes, I can do without folks.

Really, some of you are mean. Some of you are boring. Some of you are annoying. Some of you talk about the same stuff over and over just to hear yourself talk. Some of you are so caught up in your own wonderfulness that you just have to share. *sigh*

I am most comfortable doing what I am doing right now…..Relaxing stretched out on my couch in my jammies with my computer watching Pro.ject.Run.way with my hubby reading next to me and my kids snuggled in their beds.

Some days I hate dealing with people. I hate being nice. Feigning interest. Smiling.

I haven’t looked forward to rushing home, changing clothes and doing absolutely nothing in such a long while.

My day sucked.

The weekend review-The Company Picnic

The Rocket Slide

Ready for Takeoff

Ahhhh….the pool.

Chilling at the Pool

Making Muscles

Lost and Found

I took the train in to work today and sat in the front car. We were pulling into 30th street station when I watched a man in a green shirt jump off the platform, directly in front of the train. The bump as we hit him and then the feeling of the brakes screeching as we rode over his body was something I won’t soon forget.

As we sat there on the train not moving…..I could only say a silent prayer for him.

I don’t know what would take someone to such despair that they had given up all hope in their life. I know people who have survived sheer HORRORS and they are still living, embracing this one life they have been given to the fullest.

We all face challenges, hurt, pain and disappointment. I know that I am an eternal optimist but I really do believe that you can never lose unless you allow your pain and sorrow to overtake you. I do believe that life is all how YOU CHOOSE to view it and accept it. And me?

I choose to be happy. Every single day.

I choose to recognize that no matter how bad I have it….someone else is going through worse.

I choose to realize that if I have the money to get on the train and legs and health to jump in front of it……then I am far too blessed to die.

I wish someone could have shared that with that man this morning.

Besides…..how could I ever want to leave this behind?

And the clock strikes 12…

So I am up late working on a project for a meeting tomorrow….

I am watching VH.1So.ul and why? Why are they showing Prince…Insatiable?

Now ya’ll can say what you want about that little man…..he is one bad mofo. And he’s hot….fire.

Who else can rock a black jumpsuit, heels and a fresh perm and still make the ladies swoon?

I swear….I forgot about the power of the Purple one….it will never happen again.

***UPDATE***

Now they’re showing D’A.ngelo…Ho.w d.oes it feel.

See….VH1 ain’t even right. I see what goes down after I’m usually asleep. When I’m awake…what do I get? That damn Solan.ge video, fifty-leven times. Hmph.

To E.

I called a friend of mine yesterday just to chat. She had a sadness in her voice and some not so good news. A really good friend of hers had passed away that morning. In addition to that, her relationship had recently ended after finding out some shocking news.

I just knew that my friend was hurting. It’s been a while since I have been in the dating game but I remember that pain all too well. It’s the universal pain we have all felt after putting your all into a relationship and thinking the person felt the same way only to find out they were deceitful.

The kind of pain where you could barely get out of bed in the morning. You shut yourself off from the world and just cry.

I was so upset after hearing my friend’s story. There is nothing like having your heart betrayed to make you question yourself. Are you smart enough? Pretty enough? Good in bed? Attractive?

In reality, those types of breakups are about the other person. Their selfishness, their insecurities. Sometimes when someone chooses someone else, we instinctively feel as if we are failures instead of recognizing that we dodged a bullet.

I am going to pray for my friend. My beautiful, intelligent, fabulous friend. I hope she knows that she is worth more than he could ever afford. Life starts NOW.

Just call me punk azz….

I spent the better part of Sunday afternoon cleaning out my basement. The bags of kids clothes were piling up and we needed to get rid of stuff. With new bunkbeds arriving this week, we had furniture and other crap that we needed to move out of our space.

I have a wonderful friend who has a son that is two years older than my oldest. She constantly brings over clothes that her son never got to wear. Lucky for me, she has great taste in boys clothing. R.al.ph Lau.ren, G.A.P, you name it…..she brings it over. Tali 1 is always a sharp dressed young man.

However, that means between what I buy them, stuff that was given to us and old clothes…..we had a surplus of boys clothing trapped in our basement. As you may know…boys can tear through some clothes in a heartbeat. I tossed about ten pairs of jeans due to holes in the knees. I also ended up giving 8…..yes, eight….bags of kids clothing to Goodwill. *sigh*

So we also left our Toddler bed outside with the trash. We have a neighborhood junk man who drives by before the trash comes and takes furniture and appliances.

When Mr. 1969 was leaving the house, he saw one of the Wu-Tangs removing the toddler bed frame from our trash. He called me and told me about it.

Now I have started seeing a young lady coming and going from the Wu Mansion. She has a young daughter. I thought about the fact that if she needed the bed frame, she might need the mattress.

When I came home from work, I marched over and knocked on their door. One of the fourteen ahem….Wu offspring opened the door. I asked if their mom was home. She came to the door and I asked her if she was interested in the mattress for the toddler bed. Turns out the young lady staying with them is a friend of theirs who lost all of her belongings in a fire recently.

She was very grateful for the bed frame and mattress. *sigh*

I also ended up giving her a brand new highchair, a walker and some toys for her one year old daughter.

When I walked in the house…..Mr. 1969 just laughed at me.

“Babe….if you saw her taking the bed, why didn’t you offer them the mattress?”

“I wanted to give it to them…..but they’re the Wu Tang.”

“So?”

“Then they’ll think I like them or something. Next thing, they’ll be all over my lawn and trying to say hi and shyt.”

“So why did you let me go over there?”

“You’re a girl. It’s okay for you to be a punk.”

I am on the phone with a divorce attorney right now…….

“Mommy, why is Tali 2 so mean?”

In third grade, I rode the bus home. As a Brooklyn kid, it was the number 35 not the school bus. I rode my bus to Ho.ly Cro.ss every day. One day coming home from school, this girl Sandra started talking about me on the bus.

I was quiet in grade school. My head was usually in a book and I read everywhere I went. I had friends but I wasn’t in the cool crowd. Well Sandra started talking about me, extra loud on the bus with her circle of friends.

” She thinks she’s cute cause she has long hair.”

“She was in the spelling bee but I can spell better than her.”

“She’s stupid.”

I ignored her because Sandra was one of those girls in school that I kind of felt sorry for. She wore glasses, had an overbite (wore braces) and stuttered. She stuttered so bad that she spit when she talked and always had crust in the corners of her mouth.

The teasing went on for a few weeks. As soon as she saw me on the bus, she would get with her friends and start talking about me. I just kept my head in my book and ignored her. I knew she was trying to get to me ( I had read enough Be.ve.rly Cle.ary and Ju.dy Blu.me to know that bullies should be ignored.)

One day, Sandra must have been feeling herself cause she started picking on me at the bus stop outside of the candy store. Her friends started egging her on and she walked up to me and got in my face.

“See…she’s scared of me. I told you she’s just stupid. That’s why I…….”

She never finished her sentence. I had knocked her flat on her back.

“She broke my glasses. Whyyyyyyyyy did you break my glasses? I’m gonna get in trouble.”

Sandra started crying like a baby sitting there on the sidewalk.

The bus pulled up and I calmly got on and rode home. In peace.

Sandra never bothered me again. Come to think of it, neither did anyone else at Ho.ly Cr.oss.

My Grandfather’s Rule Number One-Hundred and Eighty: If you’re gonna fight, shut up and throw a punch.

Charm School

I have a gift. I have the ability to start conversations with total strangers with ease. Crowds, social events, networking, random people….none of it makes me uneasy. I love talking to and getting to know people.

I do this so effortlessly that sometimes, I amaze myself. I reflect on some of my friendships and wonder how did we meet in the first place? Nine times out of ten, I just struck up a random conversation with them at some point.

After leaving DC on Sunday afternoon, I headed up to NYC to hang out with CreoleinDC and EricaB and take them to Ce.nt.ury 21. A diva cannot be in the Big Apple and not hit up Century’s. It would be….well…..sacrilige. While doing so, we encountered several folks. Made friends with the kind folks at Dallas Jones BBQ, made a random friend at Red Mango.

 

food courtesy of Dallas Jones BBQ, photo courtesy of EricaB

Red Mango deliciousness courtesy of CreoleinDC

Everywhere we went, we struck up conversations with random folks. I guess what I wanted them to take away from New York is that yes, it’s a big city….but everyone that lives there is just one person. Someone once said that there are ten million stories in the naked city and there are. Every single person is truly fascinating. You can people watch like no other in NY. Everyone from the cab driver to the millionaire probably has something amazing to share. I know you can find this in any city but in NY, people come because of so many reasons.

It is a city of dreamers. Some make it, some find a happy medium and some lose themselves, caught up in the fast pace, rat race and the bright lights. The homeless woman? She wasn’t always that way. Something brought her to this point. I look at people and try to see beyond the everyday. I love to find out what makes folks tick.

I often wonder about folks that go through life with a fear or aversion to the unknown. Those who avoid strangers, new surroundings or meeting people. Those situations make me feel alive…like I share a commonality with the world. I can’t even imagine how lonely or sad it would be to only want what’s familiar around you.

I relish the adventure of making new friends, trying new things and experiencing life to the fullest. Isn’t that why we’re here?

So to walk the city I love with two folks I met online was indeed a new experience. We also shared some food, some laughs and a universal bond. Different cities, different lives but the same good souls.

I’m glad I wasn’t afraid to do something new.

Happy Friday.

The weekend recap….

Well, I am back from my crazy weekend on the road. Although, the Centennial celebration is still underway in DC, I could only stay for the weekend. But I managed to pack as much as I could into my four days.

Me and 2 of my favorite sorors (my BFF had to cancel at the last minute due to unforseen circumstances) packed up and hit the road.

We arrived at our destination and headed off for drinks and dinner. After that, we just crashed.

Now on Saturday, we hit the ground running. We started at How.ard Univer.sity where we were founded over a Century ago.

While at Howard, we saw a great exhibit in the library. Here are some of the pictures:

How cute are these ladies in their pigtails and holding their ivy plants?

After that, we had lunch and pedicures before heading down to the Convention Center. Here’s what awaited us:

Pink and green everywhere. And vendors, shopping, etc.

Along the way, I bumped into my girl Roycee.

Yeah, yeah…I know…I’m greasy as hell but I was running all day long. LOL

We got back to the hotel, changed and headed out to find the parties.

We started out at one party and never left….we ran into so many folks and had a blast (shout out to Soror Leslie C. who found me in a sea of people at the party. I hope you enjoyed your first Boule!). The men of Alpha, Kappa and Omega set it out all weekend long. And the ladies of AKA were truly gorgeous. Nothing is more beautiful than a group of black women.

The next morning, after limited sleep, I crawled out of bed determined to hook up with a friend of mine from my hotel who had moved to DC and Sissy.

We all ended up at Brunch and had a blast.

How gorgeous is she? Hmpmh. Heffa.

We were also graced by the presence of another fab Soror… TravelDiva.

Although I couldn’t stay longer, it was great to meet these wonderful ladies. They were so much fun and I can tell a return trip is needed.

Did I take myself home after that? Nope….but I will recap my day in New York tomorrow. Your girl is STILL tired.