You know those disagreements you have when dating where you end up breaking up with the person?
Well, married people have those too, except we still have to stay together and work it out. We have mortgages, kids and financial obligations. So yes, even when we are super angry at each other…we have to find a way to work through the issues.
Mr. 1969 and I are in the middle of a disagreement. We don’t disagree too often but when we do, it tends to be major. Basically, it boils down to the basics…he thinks I am selfish. I think he is selfish.
I know we will work through it. That’s what marriage is all about. I just feel like the woman always has to give in to make the peace in the house. Does anyone else find this to be so? Some days, I am so tired of being the peacemaker. Of engaging the dialogue to mend fences. Sometimes the desire to say F*ck it is so real I can taste it.
But…..I love my husband. I love my marriage. I love my family, my sons. They deserve the two of us, working in harmony.
So I will suck it up and play nice. For my marriage’s sake. For my boys.
I don’t know what we are supposed to be celebrating today but I am glad I get to work from home.
It’s been a busy weekend. We ended up having guests through the weekend. While we enjoyed having them, you already know what was involved. The thorough cleaning, fresh sheets, towels, cooking dinner, making snacks, getting up early to make breakfast.
The highlight of my weekend was getting out early to work out both Saturday and Sunday mornings. That hour is priceless. I swear that without it, I would probably end up in jail. LOL
How was the weekend? Do anything exciting? Entertain me people….I’m working today.
I tend to veer on the side of optimism. The glass is half-full for me. Life is too short to always look at things negatively. When faced with a problem, I take the “put your big girl panties on and deal with it” approach.
I also have an allergy. A severe allergic reaction to DRAMA. Don’t get it twisted, I can roll with the best of them if it comes down to getting dirty but I prefer not to bring unneccessary stress into my life if I don’t have to. Why would I embrace someone else’s issues when I have my own?
I think being in the Hotel Biz has given me the innate ability to deal with sticky situations. I am usually calm in the face of storms. The voice of reason. The go to person when you have a problem.
Sometimes, people mistake this calmness for weakness. Some people react to situations with VOLUME. I observe behavior. I understand people. I think. Then I strike.
I always tell you….I am the nature of my horoscope. Cancer, the Crab. I let everything bounce off the shell while I lay in the cut and observe the situation. If it’s not for me….I go back in the sand and mind my own business. If I need to attack….I strike fast and cut to the quick.
I think I know that I have an evil streak and when I say something or react a certain way….I will go for the jugular and really HURT someone. So I try to be careful with that power.
I use the force sparingly. That way, when I use it…..it’s highly effective.
And yes, I said evil. 1969 is not all sunshine and rainbows. I have a positive outlook on life but I am a product of my upbringing.I have that Caribbean blood mixed with the Brooklyn Hustler mentality. I can revert to survival mode with the quickness.
Many a fool has slept on me and assumed what my reaction would be…..they learned. LOL
As Mr. 1969 would say…..I am the perfect mix of class and hood. A Chanel suit wearing broad packing heat and a switchblade. LMAO!
One of the very best Valentine’s Day’s I ever had was when I was a sophomore in College. I had just broken up with my cheating boyfriend. I was depressed. I was going crazy from listening to my roommate drone on and on about her new boyfriend and all of their plans.
As I lay on my bed, my phone rang. It was Mama 1969. She called to wish me a Happy V-Day and she asked me what I was doing. “Absolutely nothing.” She laughed and told me that the day was about love. Why couldn’t I go out and love myself?
When I hung up the phone, I called my friend C and told her to get dressed.
“Why, did you find some men?”
“Nope. It’s Valentine’s Day and we love ourselves. We are going out.”
“What?”
“You heard me. We are going out. Get dressed and I mean dressed.”
So we got cute and ventured out into the city. We treated ourselves to a great dinner and laughed at all of the couples. We sat there trying to figure out who would break up in the next six months. We laughed at all of the awkward couples. More than anything, we had fun.
Today is a commercial holiday. The flower, chocolate and card industry will make a killing. The diamond people will inundate you with sappy ads.
Real love starts with self love. And that doesn’t cost anything.
I was coming into work today and I heard this song. I instantly thought back to this party I went to when I was a senior in High School. We were technically supposed to spend the night at my friend Michele’s house but ended up going to someone’s house party. Michele, Crystal and I got dressed in our flyest gear and headed out for adventure. Crystal and I loved music. We loved to dance. The party for us was all about dancing. Michele was probably trying to go to the party to see a guy. She was always the boy crazy one
We were at the party and the music started to play. We got something to eat. None of us drank at the time. We just stood in the corner dancing and watching the room. If I recall, Michele disappeared off with some boy. (Crystal, if you’re reading this….was his name Delano? LMAO)
So we’re dancing and having a good time. I look across the room and this tall, chocolate coated man with hazel eyes appears in the distance. I tap Crystal and say…..”Girl, check this guy out.”
“DAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNNN”
He was clearly standing out from everyone else at this party. You know, the cool, well-dressed dude that lays in the cut while all of the girls flock to him.
So the whole party, we are having fun. Dancing. But clearly, we are two skinny innocent girls in a room full of uh…seasoned veterans. We are clearly not at the grinding on walls stage of our development.
So all of a sudden, the rockers starts to play. A firm hand grabs mine. I turn around and it’s HIM. The tall, chocolate cutie is asking me to dance. Not only that, he leans down, gets close to my ear and asks me. The deep voice, the warm breath. He had me at hello.
We walk to the dance floor, his arm goes around my waist. I can smell the Grey Flannel (I used to love that smell!) as my fingers encircle his waist….and for the next five songs (gotta love the Reggae mix), we moved in one motion. Turns out….your boy was an island boy. Let’s just say….he left that dance uh….happy.
Once the dance broke up, can you believe we all broke out and went home? No numbers exchanged, no hooking up. Just fun. Innocent fun.
On the way home, the girls were like…”We saw you dancing with that cutie….what’s his name?” Uh……I never asked him. LMAO!!!!We still refer to him as the “Watch Man”. Why? Cause he was rocking a fly Gucci watch.
Last night, like many of you, I watched the Grammy’s.
I must say that the oldheads were killing it.
First up, you had Morris Day and the Time, still looking good and fly as hell. I love me some Morris Day and Jerome. Don’t make me go watch Pu.rple Ra.in for the 100th time. (Uh, side note, Rihanna cannot dance. What kind of Caribbean girl can’t dance?)
Then there was Tina. What Grandmother can pull off silver spandex and a bustier? I bow down to the Queen of Nutbush, Tennessee. Do it Tina!
Then there was the architect of Rock and Roll. You know you love him like a crazy uncle that wears Grandmama’s wig. Little Richard was still up there playing the piano and singing. Props to him….WOOOOOOOO!
And then there was this:
Black People……we have to do better.
And Kanye, your performance was off the hook. I love you as a performer. But you have got to work on the HUMILITY.
You keep telling Common not to release albums the same year as you? Just say thank you and STFU. Or better yet, hire someone to give your acceptance speeches so I can feel good about liking you and your music.
Downloading pictures from the camera, I came across this shot of Tali 1 making the Wu-Tang sign in front of the Wu-Tang house. Hmmmm…..I wonder who took this picture.
Today I spoke to a friend that I haven’t spoken to since I got married. At one point, we were roommates and very good friends. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding.
She was one of those friends that got mad at me for something and stopped calling me. I had tried a few times to call her and find out what was up…..she never called me back.
Eventually, I walked away from the entire friendship. I figured that after ten years of friendship, if she couldn’t call me and tell me she was mad at something….I just needed to let the whole relationship go….and I did.
She emailed me out of the blue a few months ago. She had gotten divored and had remarried. She now was a stepmom to a 16 year old and was enjoying her new life.
She left me a message last week and I called her today. We talked for an hour. We caught up with each other’s life. She sounds happy and I am thrilled for her.
I didn’t ask her what happened but she did say “I know it’s been awhile and I was tripping then…..I missed you and wanted to catch up.”
*Sigh* Deep down, I never did anything so I don’t know what was up. I don’t know why she was missing for 8 years. It sounds like she was finding herself.
I am sure that, knowing me, I will get to the bottom of everything eventually but it was good to hear her happy and in a good place.
