The advice fairy….

One of the joys of getting older is that you acquire the right to expound on several topics simply because you have “lived”. With age comes wisdom. I find that people now come to me and expect enlightened answers on various topics. Here are the top three….

1. Children

Once you have a child and you live to see them through the first five years of their life without going to jail, folks tend to gravitate toward you and ask you questions.
The other day, I was out with both Tali’s at the playground. This pregnant woman comes up to me and starts asking me where I send my kids to daycare because they are so “well-spoken and well-behaved”. While I told her about their school (because I love their school), I didn’t have the time to explain to her that it’s not just the school…..my kids are well spoken and well behaved because they learned that in their house. I wanted to tell her that it takes work and that her road was just beginning. Your children are a reflection of you and their environment. It’s that simple. When folks have bad azz kids and they don’t know why….ahem….hold up a mirror. LOL

2. Marriage

I am always getting questions about “how do you make it work”….and “you guys seem so happy and you have such a beautiful family”. Rule number one with marriage….couples always look happy when they are out but nobody knows what goes on in their home. Everyone has rough spots and trouble. Couples fight, they argue, they disagree. No one has a perfect marriage.

Stop looking at other people and figure out what is not working in YOUR house.
Every situation is unique. Don’t compare your husband to my husband. Work on you and yours. AND STOP LETTING EVERYONE IN YOUR BUSINESS. Whew.

Nothing in life is easy. You walk the road and sometimes it’s smooth, sometimes it’s long, sometimes it’s rocky and bumpy. You just work on moving forward and paving the road together. He has to want it as much as you do. Don’t worry about the other cars on the road. Drive yours to the best of your ability.

3. Men

If a man wants to be with you, he will act like it.

That’s really all you ladies need to know. Commit that to memory. If you are spending more time trying to figure him out than enjoying the relationship…..kick him to the curb.

Nuff said.

Blog jacked

I am totally stealing this from the genius that is Wise.

Today I present my favorite White women.

Number Five

Sophia. I love a smart talking, no shyt taking woman. Sophia is one sassy broad…what’s not to love?

Number Four

Mrs. Butterworth. (She is white right?) I love her. No other syrup will do for my famous French Toast. She’s rich, sweet and creamy (no Michelle Rodriguez) and I love her!

Number Three

You already know this is my girl. My icon. And she does it all while looking flawless and rocking the best costume with the high heeled boots and bracelets? C’mon.

Number Two

Posh. Mrs. Beckham is my girl. Say what you want, she brings the glamour. She is over the top but still laughs at herself. I love the whole look. And hey, she’s married to one of my future baby daddies (Back up Roycee).

Number One

Now you know….when it comes to white people, we have stolen everything. We stole golf, stole the Preppy look (thanks Kanye and Pharelle), stole rock music…we are taking everything and making it our own. The last bastion of whiteness? Yes, B.arbie.
And slowly but surely….we are stealing that too. My favorite white woman has transformed herself into B.arbie…pink lipstick and all….no one does it better….

The Queen Bee…Lil Kim

carry on…..

The Legacy

My mom is coming up to visit this weekend and I can’t wait to see her.

My mom and I have been through a lot together. We have our ups and downs. She veers towards being harsh and extremely matter of fact. She’s not always good at handling her children’s emotions or saying something with tact.

I am sensitive but hide it under a tough exterior. My mother wears her sensitivity on her sleeve. You make the wrong comment and she will get hurt. However, she will turn around and feel that she can say anything to me and I should suck it up. Oftentimes, I do. I just take things and out of respect for her, I don’t retaliate.
I am not a lover of drama.

Over the years, I have learned to not let some of her mom-isms get to me. A lot of it is meant well, she just doesn’t say it in the right way. I really do think that is an inherent Caribbean trait. We may want to say “Wow, you look great. Have you lost weight?” but instead it will come out “Yuh too skinny. No man is gonna want a skinny woman.” You feel me?

So many times, I call my mom looking for support and I will end up having to call elsewhere or find it in myself. However, I love her to pieces. That is just her way.

She is also the woman that had two children when my father was gone and raised us both to be good people. We care about our family and each other. Last year when she was undergoing surgery, her two kids stayed at her side the entire time.

Her greatest gift was to always make us laugh at ourselves and not take anything too seriously. She is a natural born comedienne. She can cook her behind off and she is always a diva. One of the best dressed women I know, with a knack for always looking pulled together. She will give you the shirt off her back if you need it and she would sacrifice her last dollar for her children.

So maybe she tends to have a harsh tongue but she has a huge heart. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Spreading My Wings

official score: Donuts-zero 1969-one

Okay so I started out the day donut free. Yogurt and fruit. (BLAH) But I am going hardcore. Just thought I would share.

You ever feel like your life is mundane? Boring? Stuck in a rut? Sometimes, I wonder where all the excitement is. I mean, my life was never fireworks and festivals…..but sometimes I feel like I do the same things day in and day out.

For the most part, I love my life…..my quiet existence in my own little corner of the world. I am content, chilling in the house with my family.

But sometimes, I feel like there should be more. More what? I don’t know….just more. I don’t want too much excitement. Really, I am blessed. God could have chosen to place me in Rwanda where every single day trying to survive would have been excitement overload.

No I mean….something else. Something new. Something to shake up the routine.
Maybe a vacation? Maybe I need to take a class? Maybe I need to go back to school?

I am feeling the urge to spread my wings and do something. Challenge myself. Grow.
I hate being stuck in a rut.

Parting is such sweet sorrow….

So I have been reading the book S.uperfoods and trying to educate myself on eating a more balanced diet.

All of a sudden, I read this:

Remember that all donuts, to my knowledge, have the so-called trans fats, which is another way of saying partially hydrogenated oils. There is no safe amount of trans fats. Even small amounts have an adverse effect on our health. They are even worse than saturated fat, which also can have significant adverse effects on many body functions.

Alright people. That hit home for me cause you know I love a good donut. MMMMMmmmm donut. Yes, me and Homer Simpson. ALL donuts are bad. WOW. What about the mutli-grain donut at Starbucks? LOL

Okay, okay….if I can walk away from red meat and pork…I can leave the small donut behind right? **starts sweating** I mean, you heard the man….they’re ALL BAD for me? They are defeating the running and eating healthier. What? My eye is twitching? Oh….I’ll be okay…..it’s just this small thing that happens when I think about giving up donuts forever.

**sigh**

Refocusing My Efforts

There is a lot going on at work right now. For my department, we are in the middle of our busiest time of year. All of this while I am still trying my best to learn this job. Coming from a Sales and Marketing background and stepping into the world of revenue is not easy.

I made this move to 1) Get the Title 2) Gain the Revenue Experience & Knowledge and 3) Learn an entirely new aspect of the Business. Was this the job for me? I can honestly say no. I am a people person. Sales is where I belong. However, I am doing my best to master all aspects of this job before I plan on jumping ship.

October will be a year in the position. I plan on doing two and then exploring my options. So far, I am learning but some of the projects make me feel like I am in way over my head.

Therefore, I plan on refocusing my efforts to tackle the tasks I have yet to master. I refuse to lose. As the only Black person in the Region with my job…..I have to carry that responsibility and make us all look good. I know the Haters want me to fail but….it ain’t gonna happen.

I am on the job…..

Work smerk….

So I really need to finish a project but I don’t FEEL like it. I worked like a slave yesterday. Oh snap, I am a slave…LOL. Seriously, I think I am done. Hell, it’s Friday. Let the slacking commence.

Small confession….I did not do well as far as healthy eating at all this week. **sigh** I will kick it into high gear tomorrow though. Gym at 8am and I will work it all out of my system. Spinning class should do the trick. And it’s an all seafood weekend at the 1969 house. Seafood, roasted veggies and lots of fruit. Gotta stay in the game and detox the cake and chips. Hush….I needed it!

Mr. 1969 will be out of town on Saturday so it will be me and the Taliban Maruaders.
I am probably going to take them out to the gym with me, then we will hit the Please Touch Museum and maybe go see Rat.atouille. My oldest wants to see Transformers but it looks too grown for him. Has anyone seen it? Too much for a five year old going on 40?

Lastly, when the Husband returns on Sunday….I am handing off his kids and I will be locked up somewhere in the house with my Ha.rry Potter book. Yes, yes, I read Ha.rry Potter. Retreat YE HATERS. The books are good….and I need to know what happens before everybody starts telling me who dies. If you are down with Hogwarts, holla at ya girl

If you are close to Philly…..Musiq Soulchild is giving a free concert tonight at Penn’s Landing. Also popping off is the Que boatride tonight, departing from Penn’s Landing on the Sp.irit of Philadelphia.

I will be home sipping a glass of Chardonnay, because mama is too old for all that hotmess. You youngsters get out there and enjoy yourselves.

I leave you with a Flashback Friday classic (this one’s for you Fresh)…cause I got land in the sand of the West Indies……Damn I be paid……

I Got Work to Do

I had a stress free week, chilling in the office, no bosses, surfing the web….then SLAM (cue the Onyx music)……projects, deadlines and responsibility have swooped in like a hawk.

Stay strong, my people and have a great week…..

Meme Madness

I was tagged by Roycee AND Zed so here go the rules:

Rules:
1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1) A very close relative tried to molest me when I was 16. It didn’t happen because I got away. They never tried anything ever again but I kept it a secret for years so my mom wouldn’t be embarrased or feel guilty. I finally told her maybe two years ago and she was PISSED.

2) My greatest fear is either of my sons being molested. Probably because of what almost happened to me. I would kill someone, without hesitation. Seriously.

3) One of my very good friends (she was in my wedding) is no longer speaking to me. I don’t know why. I don’t care. She was high maintenance and I have no patience to call and find out. Hell, after ten years of friendship, you would think she would call and cuss me out or something right? Que sera sera.

4) My husband did nothing for my birthday. He sucks at holidays and birthdays. I sucked it up and acted like it didn’t matter. It does matter and I am still pissed off.

5) Everytime I hear a Euro say “He/She speaks so well”. I want to punch them dead in the face.

6) All of my underwear has to match. Even if I am wearing sweats and a t-shirt….my underwear is probably cute. I used to work in Bloomie’s in lingerie in college….I developed a habit…..LOL.

7) I stole a lot of stuff out of the bookstore in College. I feel bad now but that’s why one of my line names is Robin Hood. *sigh*

8) Men that don’t watch or like sports just don’t sit well with me. I will probably assume that you are suspect when you probably just don’t like it. I am sooo judgemental.

No tags…..just posting

Reading is Fundamental

I have read two books in the last week. I love books. I love all genres, from biographies to fiction. I have a penchant for quality writing. I guess I am somewhat of a book snob.

I will not read anything by Z.ane or any of the other mainstream modern authors. I read Z.ane’s first book and was not impressed with her writing or storytelling abilities. I felt like she was trying to force a wild sex scene into the story instead of letting the scene develop. If she wants to read a well done sex scene, she needs to pick up this book.

I love Walter Mosley for his brilliant character development. I love intense mysteries and used to stay up late reading James Patterson and Stephen King when I was younger. Stephen King’s The Stand is a classic.

I love Alice Walker and Toni Morrison. I love Richard Wright. I love Zora Neale Hurston.

My favorite author is Gabriel Garcia Marquez. His writing is amazing. He weaves a story like no other. He can take a simple story about love and transform it into a mystical experience. Simply beautiful.

I read stories to my children every night and I hope to pass on the love of quiet time with a good book. What are you reading?