Nineteen Sixty Nine

Do you see this? This is the stuff that makes even the most confidant woman feel insecure. Magazines and shows that showcase perfect looking women. Always fabulous, always laughing. Wearing designer clothing and not a hair out of place.

It forces us to look in the mirror and become our harshest critics. “My skin is terrible, I have bags under my eyes, are those wrinkles?”

Now if magazines would show real, untouched pictures once in a while….

I know I would feel better. How about you?

As I walked into casa 1969 last night, I noticed that my oldest Tali was missing. Turns out he had an incident at his after-school program and had been sent to his room.

There was a young lady playing with a basketball and Tali asked her if he could play with it about five times. When she wouldn’t give it to him, he took a football and threw it at her. She wasn’t hurt but he was spotted doing it and needless to say, was reprimanded by his favorite teacher. When Mr. 1969 picked him up, he was already crying because he was upset that Ms. B was “mad at him”.

He cried all the way to pick up his brother and all the way home. It was my turn to tackle this one (yes, we take turns dealing with parental issues…LOL, shut up!). I walked upstairs to his room and sat on his bed. He looked sad and pitiful.

We had a talk about “gentlemen” and “ladies”. We talked about rules for gentlemanly behavior. The main rule being that a gentleman never hits a lady. I basically told him that even if a girl is rude, hits him first, calls him names or throws something at him…..it’s never okay to hit her back. He needs to learn to walk away. PERIOD. Also, when you are angry…..it’s okay to have those fellings but you can’t turn around and want to hurt someone because of it.

As I left the room, so many thoughts ran through my mind. As a woman, I hate to send the message that girls are the “weaker” gender so you can’t hit one because you could hurt her.  I want to teach him to respect girls as equals. I wasn’t sure how to say “don’t hit girls” without making girls seem frail and weak.

Secondly, I realized that this is where we start to lay the ground rules for future years. How many young men get in trouble or have other “accusations” because they weren’t able to walk away from a woman? How many young Black men get caught up with anger issues?

Later on in the evening, we had another talk about being brave and being a coward. I told him that a brave person is able to make choices and do things when everyone else around them is afraid. I also explained that a coward is someone that takes the easy way out when dealing with a problem instead of doing the right thing.

I asked him what was the right thing to do if he wanted the ball but she didn’t want to give it to him.

“Play with something else.”

Did you do that?

“No. I got angry and hit her.”

I explained that because he did that, he was a coward and only cowards would hit girls or someone unable to defend themselves. He didn’t like being called a coward.

Child raring is interesting. It forces you to examine your beliefs and yourself on a daily basis.  Waking up yesterday morning, I had no idea that I would be required to teach my son a lesson later that day that he may need to draw on for the rest of his life.

I don’t know why God chose to bless me with these two sons…..but I have to believe it’s because he knew I would not hesitate to teach them lessons that will help them aspire to greatness. I just wonder if the thoughts in my head are enough to get them to that goal.

There is no manual for being a parent.

Ever feel like work is distracting you from having fun?

Cinnamon Bun Be.n & J.erry’s is my new favorite ice cream. HEAVENLY.

I have been running consistently every week so WHY DO MY LEGS STILL HURT?

Tali 2 is either going to end up President of the United States or in jail. There is no happy medium.

This chick needs new parents, an azz whooping, laying on of hands, hot Holy water, a duct taped intervention and a visit from Jesus….but that’s another post. *sigh*

This post needs to be mandatory reading for young black men.

I wonder if Mariah C. is familiar with Alex.yss Tay.lor’s videos regarding the Power of the P.e.n.i.s? (Nick Ca.nno.n is all dat!)

Why was Kim Por.ter on J.et last week talking about “moving on” and the very same week, she was at her man D.id.dy’s side as he got his star on the Wal.k of Fa.me? **insert eye roll here**

Ja.vo.n Wa.lk.er? Yes, indeedy.

 

A year ago today, I walked in the Ra.ce for the C.ure event here in Philadelphia. It was my third year participating. Knowing so many women that have both survived and succumbed to Breast Cancer, the cause was near and dear to my heart.

Last year, while walking the race, I thought long and hard about a few things. I knew that I was done having babies, I had given up eating red meat and pork and lastly, I was creeping up on the BIG 4-0. I was inspired to make yet another change. I WANTED TO RUN IN A 5K BEFORE MY 40TH BIRTHDAY.

I will be 39 this July so I had a two year cushion to get it done. I started out walking. My friend, BK Diva encouraged me and sent me links to online training that I could do to take myself from walking to running. I watched as my Soror Roycee trained and ran marathons. I was inspired by my boy Fresh who worked hard to OSAG (Operation Shrink A Gut).

I began by walking. I moved to walking for 5 minutes and jogging for 5 minutes. Slowly, I increased my times and eventually I was running a mile.

It may not sound like much to real runners, but for this mother of two with asthma? It was huge.

Today, I said a silent prayer as I stood at the starting line. I asked God to give me the strength to finish the race and to not give up. I looked around at the sea of shirts that said “Cancer Survivor” or “Running for My Mom/Sister/Aunt/Godmother/Daughter/Friend” and I was truly inspired. I was surrounded by survivors. They battled a deadly disease. Some won and others lost…..but they all lived to run in the sunshine on this beautiful Mother’s Day morning.

I am proud that I can now say that I, 1969, am a runner. My first 5K time was 30:12 and I fulfilled a personal goal today.

On Mother’s Day, we celebrate the women that loved us, nurtured us and taught us the life lessons that we carry with us. My gift to myself today (and my family) is working towards improving my health and the knowledge that with hard work, and believing in yourself…..you can accomplish your dreams. If I can pass that on to my children, then I have done all the mothering I need to do.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL OF THE MOMS, GRANDMOMS, AUNTIES, GOD MOTHERS, DAUGHTERS, SISTERS, COUSINS that help to nurture another person. This is your day……enjoy and be blessed.

The littlest Tali will be 3 on Saturday. Three years old. *sigh*

It seems like just yesterday I was holding him for the very first time. He had me at hello. From the moment we brought him home our little family felt complete.

He was the sweetest little baby. He slept on schedule (unlike his older brother who refused to sleep through the night until he was two years old.) He was a good eater. He was the easiest baby ever. A perfect little angel.

Little did I know that my little angel baby would turn out to be a HIGHLY OPINIONATED AND SPIRITED little boy. Ahem. He really did set me up. I fell for the okey doke big time LOL.

I am out tomorrow throwing a fabulous pizza party birthday celebration at Little Tali’s school. I will post pictures in the afternoon. Until then, Happy 3rd Birthday to my little sweetheart. The Taurus. My little HULK. Mommy loves you.

 

 

1. I know the real way to say WATER ICE (In Philly, it’s WOODER ICE).

2. I know what really goes on at the Plateau.

3. I know what a “Mummer” is.

4. I can pronounce all of the following words: Bala Cynwyd, Wilkes-Barre, Bryn Mawr and Schuylkill.

5. I can eat a cold soft pretzel for breakfast.

6. I know what a “State Store” is.

7. I have accepted that people keep Holiday decorations up all year long.

8. I know what Summer Sausage and Scrapple are.

9. Despite my intense dislike of their team….I know all of the words to the EAGLES song. UGH!

10. I know what “going down da shore” means.

Those of you not from Brooklyn may be unfamiliar with the term Bodega.

Go ahead. Read the definition…..I’ll wait. **Hums jeop.ardy theme**

Okay are we good now?

Here we go:

Now and Late.rs and/or Jol.ly Ran.cher sticks.

Ahhh, Now and Lat.ers. They came in all kinds of flavors. I was partial to the Green Apple. And Jolly Rancher sticks? In Watermelon or Cherry? Pure sugar people…pure sugar. The reason my dentist loves me to this very day!

Quarter Water

You may call these a variety of names….but in Brooklyn….we call these Quarter Waters. 25 cents of pure sugar and food coloring. Delicious!

Big Blo’s and/or Bazooka

This was our gum of choice in the hood. Either Big Blo’s (which were really spelled Big Bol but hey, that’s not what we CALLED them) or Bazooka’s. The flavor lasted all of ten good seconds and then the gum made your jaw hurt like hell.

Wise Chips (Honorable Mention to Bon Tons)

In New York, we had two kinds of chips growing up. Wise Chips in the original blue bag or Bon Ton’s in the white bag with the red and blue stripe. If you were a gourmet like I was….(it started early folks, discriminating palate)…you ate these!

I will also allow a special shout out to the other onion snack…..Funyuns.

Pineapple Soda

Ahhh….growing up, no bag of chips was complete without either a quarter water or the best….a pineapple soda. And my store sold them for fifty cents. Honorable mention to it’s cousin the Fruit Punch soda.

An Icy

I was an icy fiend. I loved the ones that came in the skinny plastic tubes. Then there were the Italian ice cups that you had to eat with your little wooden spoon. Remember you would wait until you got to the bottom and then flip the inside over to eat the frozen crusty part on the bottom?

Then there was the Holy Grail of icy’s.

The rainbow flavored Italian Ice you got from the pizza shop or from the cart. No, they didn’t sell this in the bodega. This was like a good filet. You had to seek it out.

The Hostess Apple Pie

Ahhh….as a kid? Better than mom’s. Go ahead….read the ingredients and weep. Thank goodness I played all day long and burned it all off as a kid. Whew!

Lemonheads/Alexander the Grape/Boston Baked Beans

These boxes of goodness had a flavor for everyone. Yum Yum. I was partial to those Boston Baked Beans. Who knows what they really were…..but the name always sounded so healthy (and patriotic)!

Pixie Stix and Lik Em Stix (Real name Fun Dip)

Nothing says cavity like flavored powdered sugar. Pixie stix were a shot of sugar in a straw. Lik em Stix were fancier.

They came with a sugar wand that you had to 1) Lick to get it wet and then 2) Dip it in the flavored sugar.

All my real people may remember that if you ran out of the powdered candy….some Kool Aid was the go to substitute.

The Push Up

 

Orange Sherbety goodness in an ingenious tube. *wipes tears* This may have been my favorite because it was so good on a hot day. So portable.

Remember how crafty you would get if the stick broke off the bottom? You would use all kinds of stuff to push the ice cream up. Pencils, sticks, etc. LOL

I remember that when we were done eating them, we would take the little round plastic cap out and turn it into skelly tops……but that’s another post for another day.

 

 

 

 

1. I understand that there is more than one type of rum.

2. I know all of the words to songs in the Brooklyn Dollar Vans.

3. I have jumped up on the Parkway in pum pum shorts.

4. I know the difference between Bee.nie and Bu.ju.

5. I can tell all of the accents apart.

6. I call my elders “Auntie” and “Uncle”.

7. I have been the recipient of a “back hand slap”.

8. I know the artist that has sold out the Garden the fastest.

9. I have been to Club Call.al.oo.

10. I grew up listening to the Mi.ghty Spar.row, Lo.rd Kitche.ner and Byr.on Le.e and the Drag.onna.ires.

1. I really do like 4 chicken wings and fried rice with Hot Sauce, especially from my dirty spot on Winthrop and Utica.

2. I will pull up somewhere stepping out of the car all fabulous and saditty yet blasting something like this from the speakers.

3. I have a sneaker collection and will base an outfit around the sneakers for that day.

4. I can jump a chain link fence and hop a turnstile.

5. I am quick to ask someone “what you lookin at?” although I try to act classy now that I’m grown and say “Excuse me?”

6. I would leave my house at midnight for Ju.nior’s ch.eese.cake, Red velvet cake from Ca.ke M.an Rav.en, a party in the city or the movies.

7. I know where to find the best pizza, roti, bagel, beef pattie, hamburger, sushi and jerk chicken in NY.

8. I know six different ways to sneak into Bo.ys & Gir.ls’ old field where the summer concerts are held.

9. I also have never paid to get into the African Festival on Fu.lton Street due to uh…flirting with security.

10. In my college days, I spent many a wee morning having old men buy me and my friends drinks at Sug.ar Hi.ll’s (shut up Fresh!)